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When Saying I Love You is Not Enough

There’s a misconception by some younger people that simply by saying I love you, it is just enough to seal the deal and solve relationship problems.

What You Already Know

Back in the 90’s, one of my favourite love ballads was the song “More than Words” by the band Extreme. I think most people remember that song more than the band itself.

What You Don’t know

What most people don’t know about the song is that the lyrics written and sung by the male vocalist(Gary Cherone) was actually from a woman’s point of view. Gary expressed it as how he thought his girlfriend felt about him. By just saying I love you all the time and not proving or showing it, no relationship can work out. Here’s the first part of the verse with chorus on how the woman felt about her man.

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cause I’d already know

There are many stories originating from Tinseltown where towards the ending, the hero gathers just enough courage to express the words, “I love you” to the girl. That action will be enough to stop the girl from finishing her wedding wows with the “other guy”(which is always portrayed as the jack ass) and make her run away with the hero to live happily ever after.

Remember those stereotypical stories? Only those who had really tied the knot for many years can attest to you that saying I love you is just like turning on the ignition key of a car. You will need to have driving skills, knowledge and experience to make a successful journey ahead which will definitely be bumpy. Of course you don’t learn all that in the movies because scripts like that are not a winning formula.

Just remember the saying,”Action speak louder than words”. Saying I love you will make all those actions even sweeter.

If words come out of the heart, they will enter the heart,

but if they come from the tongue,they will not pass beyond the ears.

Al-Suhrawardi(Sufi)

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User Comments
  1. darren15my

    On March 24, 2010 at 1:45 pm


    Nice one…BTW..I really love that song. :D . cheers.

  2. Val Mills

    On March 24, 2010 at 2:22 pm


    Nice way of getting the message across. I like your final quote, I’d not heard that one before. I’ve been married nearly 39 years and actions definitely speak louder than words.

  3. pearl2010

    On March 24, 2010 at 3:17 pm


    I really like that song.Yeah word is important to express how you feel but I like it to prove more into actions.

  4. diamondpoet

    On March 24, 2010 at 4:09 pm


    In this case action does speak louder than words. thanks for the write.

  5. diamondpoet

    On March 24, 2010 at 4:09 pm


    IGood post, in this case action does speak louder than words. thanks for the write.

  6. Belle Dob

    On March 24, 2010 at 4:13 pm


    I totally agree, words can only go so far.
    Love the quote at the end. So true.
    Thanks for sharing.

  7. LoveDoctor

    On March 24, 2010 at 4:37 pm


    Very interesting. Actions do speak louder than words. But hearing it is nice too.

  8. MartineP

    On March 24, 2010 at 4:56 pm


    Totally agree on this. When I was married my ex kept saying he loved me, but ignored me beside that. I really love that song and to be honest: I do like the rest of Extreme too, especially “Get The Funk Out”. Fact is that mostly when I say “I love you” to a person, this person turns his back and leaves me, while I do mean it.

  9. 8Shei8

    On March 24, 2010 at 4:57 pm


    I know some men who say “I Love You’ just to get what they want. Pathetic huh? And I know some girls who do the same…like me (just kidding) I never play with people’s hearts. Good one Sharif :)

  10. Hepsi.M

    On March 24, 2010 at 5:40 pm


    excellent article and well-said..

  11. vaughanh

    On March 24, 2010 at 6:00 pm


    Good post. Actions are as important as words if not more so in a relationship.

  12. Shamyl

    On March 24, 2010 at 6:05 pm


    So true…words matter but actions seal the deal.And i love the song “more than words” its a classic ballad really. The message and the content, both are extraordinary is this post. 7*******

  13. Frances Lawrence

    On March 24, 2010 at 6:13 pm


    It is true, actions speak louder than words.

  14. patofgold23

    On March 24, 2010 at 6:47 pm


    there’s more to a person’s body language and actions than words…

  15. Goodselfme

    On March 24, 2010 at 7:05 pm


    You certainly give new meaning to the words. I agree it is all a complete package not just verbal.

  16. deep blue

    On March 24, 2010 at 7:08 pm


    It’s true, I like the car analogy, Sharif. Well many had been deceived by actions either, some love partners were quick at opting for a bedtime story,lol.

  17. VTech

    On March 24, 2010 at 9:11 pm


    good post thanks for sharing.

  18. Eunice Tan

    On March 24, 2010 at 11:57 pm


    Yes, commitment and action talk more.

  19. Joie Schmidt

    On March 25, 2010 at 12:04 am


    I agree 100%.

    Blessings.

    Sincerely,

    -Liane Schmidt.

  20. Alive11

    On March 25, 2010 at 12:07 am


    Very well written

  21. Citra Florenca

    On March 25, 2010 at 3:43 am


    Oh, actions DO speak louder than words! Great article!

  22. Katien

    On March 25, 2010 at 6:04 am


    I think that ‘I love you’ can quite often actually mean ‘I lust you’! Actions are so much more important than words. It was lovely to hear that song again, thankyou.

  23. zoeyclark

    On March 25, 2010 at 8:07 am


    Very cool post. First, I love the song and I love the band. I didn’t know the song was about his girlfriend. On one radio show, the vj had seriously pointed out that the frontman and the singer had written it for each other and it might be a fantasy killer for some women:)))

    That a side, “I love you” is indeed the icing on the cake. Without the cake, why would I just eat the icing? There is no point.

  24. Starpisces

    On March 25, 2010 at 9:02 am


    (1) Interesting article posted.
    (2) Agree with what you said. Action speak louder than words.
    (3) “More Than Words” is also a famous gift shop in Singapore with many outlets.
    (4) During those “pager” days, some people will receive this “17 31707 1″ on their pagers, turn the pager upside down, will read as “I LOVE U”. You heard of that?
    (5) I hate those movies whereby the bride or the “broom” suddenly run away on the wedding day, find very irresponsible and hurting for the poor fellow, to face the families/relatives/friends while heart broken. Should at least give few months notice if really want to call off the wedding (though not encouraged). The guy who suddenly wake up his idea to say “I love you” on someone wedding day really one kind, say earlier lah…

    Hahahahahaha…

  25. XXElleXX

    On March 25, 2010 at 2:09 pm


    Heyho Sharif :-) I loved Extreme’s “More Than Words”! To tell you the truth…I didn’t know that Gary Cherone was singing the song from his lady’s point of view…wow…what a guy! I think you have to feel good about yourself…confident and comfortable in your own skin…love yourself…before you can commit to another human being ~ loved this write Sharif :-)

  26. XXElleXX

    On March 25, 2010 at 2:13 pm


    In addition, words and how you express your love for someone… definitely play a huge part in any relationship :-)

  27. Ruby Hawk

    On March 25, 2010 at 7:47 pm


    those words are so true, actions speak louder than words.

  28. ronthoughts

    On March 25, 2010 at 9:03 pm


    Lots of thoughts to ponder!
    Love and actions…to be complete!
    To Sharif,
    Thumbs Up, to a gentleman!

  29. ronthoughts

    On March 25, 2010 at 9:05 pm


    And a nice song too, one of my faves.

  30. sharda

    On March 26, 2010 at 8:06 am


    yes you are writing trully

  31. LOVELYHONEY

    On March 26, 2010 at 11:14 pm


    EXCELLENT PIECE

    LOVELY WRITING

    PLEASE READ SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR YOU

    IN MY POEM

    Your Lovely Face/authspot

    THANKS LHLHLH

  32. athena goodlight

    On March 27, 2010 at 12:59 pm


    Those three words are like magic to anyone’s ears, especially when expected. Couples should not stop saying “I Love You” to each other as long as they’re together.

  33. athena goodlight

    On March 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm


    …What I mean is as long as they’re in the relationship or marriage. :)

  34. qasimdharamsy

    On March 30, 2010 at 7:45 am


    Great Post…well written…..

  35. S A JOHNSON

    On March 31, 2010 at 6:33 am


    Very true. My brother and I were just talking about this the other night. They always say, “Actions speak louder than words.” But it seems that now days no matter how the person acts, only the words are important. Great article.

  36. T. S. GARP

    On March 31, 2010 at 6:12 pm


    So true, I agree. Actions always speak volumes than words, everyone needs to put their words and hearts into action.

  37. standingproud

    On April 1, 2010 at 10:02 pm


    I so likey this write my dear friend…

    Words mean nothing to me unless action is at its side.
    Easy flopping out words=PROMISES+Broken promises,are so shattering, JUST don’t do it…
    Because of that over years have learnt words are just words
    meaningless in fact.
    It is the same as we teach our young not by what we say but by what we do.
    Thanking you Sharif !!!
    from
    ——Butterfly with balls,ha ha ha ha Lol.=That is ME ,Lol

  38. Frances Lawrence

    On April 7, 2010 at 8:30 am


    Very well expressed, love is actions not just words.

  39. lillyrose

    On April 14, 2010 at 5:29 am


    show the love!!

  40. Authoress Terry E. Lyle

    On April 26, 2010 at 7:26 am


    What an awesome write, your words at the end “If words comes out of the heart, they will enter the heart, but if they come from the tongue, they will not pass beyond the ears.” How profound these words are. The music video which was added to this post was beautiful, one of my favorite songs of the past that I haven’t heard in awhile. Beautifully expressed and written…this is one article of yours that’s my favorite. :)

  41. mandy2345

    On April 29, 2010 at 3:10 am


    Well done post! Good writing style. 2 thumbs up!

  42. rizzei

    On May 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm


    more than words. yes, but upon reading this post, i was brightened up. nice thoughts :)

  43. ashucharu

    On May 5, 2010 at 4:48 am


    amazingly written….cheers :)

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