When Text Messages Spell Dating Disaster

You’ve waited days and days for him to call and still there’s no sign. In your darkest moments you wonder if he has lost your number – forget the idea that if he wanted you badly, he would have held onto your number as if it was cast in solid gold. He would be sleeping with it under his pillow in case he stupidly lost it. However, your heart is not telling you this. Your heart is telling you to send a friendly, enquiring, text.

In many ways the modern age is a curse hanging over the world of dating, because it is so much easier and so much more tempting to make contact, when before it was a much more drawn out process…but so much less stressful or complicated.

Having the means of getting into someone else’s life literally at your fingertips means that common sense can go out the window in favour of self destructive, impulsive behaviour. Stuff you could kick yourself for.

The fact is that men tend to use texts for logistical, practical reasons – or to insult their mates when they have a boring moment. They don’t really chat or pass the time swapping information like women tend to do (yes this is all very generalist but true).

So if you text a date, who’s not been in touch since the date, with a friendly, enquiring text; don’t expect a great big flowery reply that you can store as a token of his affection, forever. You’re more likely to get a short answer to a specific question and be even more in the dark than you were before. Plus you’ve shown that you’re a bit too keen. Potentially blown it in fact.

Even more disastrous are sending sexually suggestive texts, bad jokes or falsely casual messages – he will see right through your attempt to be chummy and see the text for what it is – a sign that you’re more desperate for contact than he is. And old fashioned as it is to modern women, men don’t often respond positively to females making the first move.

If he keeps contact with you mainly by text be aware of the following to keep him on his toes:

• don’t text first and don’t bombard him with texts
• keep texts neutral and don’t be sucked into more and more suggestive threads
• don’t wear your heart on your sleeve and let him know everything you’re doing
• don’t respond straightaway; you’re a busy lady and in demand, after all