When to Interfere in a Friend’s Unhealthy Relationship
by This article discusses whether or not it is a good idea to step in on a friend’s unhealthy relationship. It looks at how well do you know the person. Is it a work, personal, or neighborhood friend?
Interfering in a friend’s unhealthy relationship is a minefield that should be entered with grave caution. Even if you are invited to step in, it is a good idea to go very slowly through that door. It is common for some to just throw the door open and stick their nose right into the middle of things. This has resulted in lost friendships, broken noses, and worse. Before interfering in a friend’s unhealthy relationship, some areas need to have strong consideration.
How well do you really know this friend?
Some people really like to overstate the misery in their lives to gain sympathy and favors from those around them. Many times people that we work around will share things because they believe the connection will never be made between the account given and reality. There are those who view work conversations as confidential because work and home never mix. While this premise is false, the same holds true for internet friends. Unless you are in a position to view both sides of the equation, accept what is said as interesting but not necessarily factual.
Is there obvious physical abuse?
While realizing that not all unhealthy relationships involve physical abuse, the personal physical safety of the friend is important. Unless you have witnessed the assault, you cannot legally get anything done most of the time. Your friend must want help and be willing to take the legal steps to have the other half of the relationship punished. However, if the friend is physically harmed, going after the abuser in some way may only result in the escalation of the abuse. Your primary way to become involved is to encourage your friend to do the wise thing and get out of the relationship.
If it is a romantic relationship, infidelity can add a new dimension to the difficulty of interfering.
Should you be the unlucky person who discovered that your friend’s significant other is cheating, the dilemma can become quite messy whether you interfere or not. If you interfere, your friend’s mate may deny everything and paint you as a demon. This may be the result even if the partner admits to it. If you do not interfere and your friend finds out that you knew and did not tell, you will probably lose your friend anyway. This is one of those areas that many people prefer to live in ignorant bliss and become resentful toward the messenger when slapped with the truth.
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