When You Lose a Friendship

I had often wondered myself why it was that losing friendships seems to be a lot harder than losing a 2 year relationship with a boyfriend or being laid off from a job.  For many years, I thought I was alone in feeling this way, until one day, on the radio, I came across a talk show that talked about this.  The three things it revealed to me were quite painful.

1.  A friendship is hard to lose because there is no easy way to end it.

It’s not easy to end a friendship because there’s no script, there’s no specific reason.  You can’t tell your friend of many years that you’re not talking to her anymore because she leaves the toilet seat up or because your sex life is terrible.  You can’t come up and say “It’s not you, it’s me.  I need time for myself.”  You either drift apart or you have one huge explosive confrontation that leaves you wondering if it was the right thing to do.

2.  A friendship is hard to lose because it’s really because they have grown to dislike your personality.

You will always be you, but different challenges life throws at you are handled in different ways.  Sometimes, this affects personality temporarily, but if the challenges are misdealt with, it can be a deal breaker.  The relationship grows one-sided, or it simply drifts apart.

3.  A friendship is hard to lose, because it’s hard to find one in the first place.

Let’s admit it, sometimes our best friends come short of our expectations, but it’s hard to find “someone better”, that elusive “perfect friend”.  So you “settle” for the one(s) you have and count your blessings.  And it’s hard to make friends in this busy world anyway.

Do you have any other reasons you think a friendship is hard to lose?