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Why Black Women Hate Interracial Relationships?

Black women are averse to black men and white female marriages because they feel that white women are taking away the best Black men. The best black men define men who are ambitious, industrious, drug free, paternally responsible and without a criminal record. When successful black men marry white women, it subconsciously communicates to black women that they are not good enough for their successful men.


               Do black women hate interracial marriages or are they uncomfortable with the reality of successful  black men with Caucasian or Eurasian spouses?


     I remembered what Miss Rumbolt said to us in our social studies class when we were discussing miscegenation. She said that she refused to settle in a relationship with a mediocre black man because when black men “move up” in life they often prefer to marry a black woman with European features such as light skin and curly hair Black female or a white woman.  She said to us “look at Kobe Bryant and other successful black athletes with their Hispanic and white wives”. My social studies teacher was angry as hell. She concluded her argument by drawing our youthful attentions to the girls that the boys in our class considered beautiful and the women that well off men in our Jamaican communities marry. My social studies teacher said that “Black men think black women are good enough when they are poor but when they get rich, they have a white or light skin aspiration for a suitable partner”

                     I was fifteen years old and I pondered on what my Jamaican social study teacher said.  Today I am twenty two years old and I was browsing on-line when I saw some articles on how black women felt about their men marrying white women.

                    I read a few articles and discovered that black women were resentful of interracial marriage. They claim that black men marry for social aspirations. It is intimated that black men believe that a true sign of ascendancy and success is to have the women on their arms that their ancestors were murdered and electrocuted for associating with.  It is as if the black man is saying “I have arrived and I can marry your daughters, sisters and take your wives, I am not a slave anymore”.

            Black women are averse to black men and white female marriages because they feel that white women are taking away the best Black men. The best black men define men who are ambitious, industrious, drug free, paternally responsible and without a criminal record.   When successful black men marry white women, it subconsciously communicates to black women that they are not good enough for their successful men.

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User Comments
  1. drelayaraja

    On July 20, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Interesting share.

  2. LoveDoctor

    On July 20, 2010 at 11:36 am

    Women need to get over their insecurity issues and learn to value themselves more. I have noticed that in Miami interracial dating is becoming more popular. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that black women are not enough. And if those women want to find ambitious men with good qualities, perhaps they need to work more on improving themselves so they can find a man at their level. It’s not only about looks. In order to attract a man and keep him for the long-term, you have to stimulate his mind too.

  3. Lwandaz Tale

    On July 20, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    Interesting and powerful views…touching right at situations all over the world. I am a black man in an increasingly cosmopolitan country. What you and Love doc have said here is a perfect mural of the society.

  4. willallmighty

    On July 28, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    Well sweet heart what about a black woman with a white man do you feel the same way about this.

  5. Angela

    On January 24, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    I live in Canada where the black man feels so inferior that he does not want to marry his black women. From the way I see it, it all stems back to slavery days, colonial days and the mentality of the black W.I. thinking that anything fair or white is beautiful. Someone wrote of educating yourself. I know of highly educated and affluent black women who cannot get a black or white mate. She could be a doctor, a nurse, a teacher but he still feels that he has reached when he marries the white or highly coloured woman who is a store clerk, nanny, etc. How many white men are married to black woman? Try taking a survey. I do not have a beef for myself, I believe in my black men. Yet when a black man see a black women with a white men, they puff up at the white men. It has happened to me.

  6. Jared P

    On February 16, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Interesting racial dynamics.

    Here\’s a good follow up: These days, aren\’t a lot of black women who seek a stable d/d free guy seeking out white men specifically? The woman in this CL post was!:

  7. Megan Luster

    On April 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    This is crazy. I’m a white woman married to a black man. I wish somebody would come at me the wrong way because I married somebody I loved just because I’m white. My very best friend is a black girl and would never pull some b/s like this so attention all black women love your selfs don’t be a hater your insecurity is not my problem. If you don’t feel good enough then make yourself feel good enough not just for a man but for yourself. If that mean getting your hair done, going shopping for new outfits, getting your nails done, or what ever it may be that makes you feel like you have value. Blame other people for your problem is not the way to go. You would not want somebody to say to you this is white only resturant or white only water fountain so don’t try to segregate love. It’s so sad that civil rights leader fought so hard for equal right and intergration and now black women are trying to undo part of the intergration thats happened because they are not sure what they are truely worth.

  8. Cubamama

    On September 28, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    I am married to a black man and I’m a light-skinned Hispanic woman so I can at times be viewed as white (although I’m usually viewed at Middle Eastern). Whenever me and my husband our out even with our 4 mo. daughter it becomes an issue for others. Including men and women of various races. I don’t mind if someone double-takes, looks, or even gives a disapproving glance…that’s on them. It’s not as though I’m pro-interracial or I have a fetish with black men…it’s just that I gave my husband a shot, we started dating, became best friends, and fell in love. So if someone has a differing opinion that’s cool. What I can’t stand is unwarranted comments directed at us or a combative and belligerent attitude. The worst in our experience has been black women. They seem to be the most intolerant. I can’t imagine verbally attacking two complete strangers in a grocery store unless it was literally eating away at my insides…and for that all I can say is, black women, (not all of you) but if the majority of you feel the need to attack two individuals that you don’t even know than there is something seriously lacking within yourself. No self-respecting or self-loving female would perceive a stranger’s personal choice as a dig to her self esteem. In my opinion, there is nothing physically wrong with black women. I have seen many beautiful black girls. God made us all equals in brains and beauty (well not ALL…but certainly not racially based). lol. Anyway…the only problem I have encountered with black women appears to be their apparent lack of self esteem stemming from their feelings of lowered self-worth due to society’s glorification of Western beauty ideals. Therefore in the black community light-skinned black women, exotic women (Arab, Asian, Hispanic), and even white women are glorified. If I were black it would piss me off too. But I wouldn’t go attacking complete strangers in shopping malls or creating entire blogs bashing non-black women. Black women need to understand that they are beautiful as they are and desirable not just to their very own race but to other races as well. In fact there are non-black men who specifically prefer them, especially Latinos. Love is based not only off attraction but also off the heart. Even if there are self-hating black men who pursue certain beauty ideals why would you want to be with someone so shallow? He wouldn’t be interested in you anyway…so how is that a loss? How is that someone taking all the ‘good black men’? My husband and I have both dated plenty of people of various races in the past. My husband is proud of his African American heritage to the hundreth degree. We just happened to fall in love? It’s 2011…don’t believe me…you can check! At the end of the day God created all of us so why is it weird or wrong to be attracted to someone from a different background? We’re all god’s people and originated from Africa regardless. We are all one species and the human race. More people are mixed than are of one lineage. And for all the black women spouting high and mighty ideals aobut the statistics of black women unmarried and the statistics of black men imprisoned…Realize that women aren’t going to conduct a sociological survey before choosing their soulmate. And issue within the black community have little if anything to do with me. I’m an individual woman who fell in love with an individual man. Period. If you’re such a fan of statistics than realize that only something like 9% of married black men actually marry outside their race. Although interracial marriage is on the rise couples like mine only make up 14% of all the marriages in the US. Most people do stick to their own ‘kind’. Grow some self esteem and stop hating on women who are complete strangers and couldn’t give two shits about your petty insecurities. For the record, false strength and fake ‘tough girl attitudes’ don’t translate as confidence…only as someone trying to make up for something they feel they lack. Not cute.

  9. rumpum

    On February 3, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    I am a young black woman in an incredible interracial relationship. My white boyfriend and I have received some hate but as previous commentators have said, it doesn’t really phase me much. It is true that some black women feel as though our black men are leaving us behind, but I would like to point out that many more black women have decided to be open about relationships. If black men marry outside their race then so can we! As Cubamama pointed out Black women are beautiful as they are! We are unique, independent, and beautiful. And many men from other races are interested- yet a little intimidated to approach a black woman. Trust me. Let down your guard. You might be surprised.

  10. Todd

    On May 23, 2012 at 1:52 am

    I read the comments, all of them have factors in a way why black women feel that way, we do have social issues as a race, I called it residue of slavery and the mental beat down over the years with the negative sterotypes about us, that’s why some of us don’t want to address! Some sister have issues with them self like some comments said. For example all the drama some bring to the table not only that some brothers bring that crap to the table also causes problems, so the brothers don’t want to deal with that. Both sides has issues in a relationship we each other. I’m not saying that other cultures don’t go through problems; like you all said love don’t have no so-called color, it’s the mental connection with peace and bliss togetherness. We have great potential as a race with a illustrious history before our ancestors came here, once we know that we will feel and treat each others with love and much respect. It’s sad my race has been graded on our physical abilities nothing about our mental aptitude. If you noticed the movie roots, once episode kizzy was reading a book in her white friend room, the master came in and sent kizzy away. The sign: they didn’t want us to read do for self, because one you think for self you can save self. So the story is we started the race late on the mental level.

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