Chances are if you’ve been dating for any length of time you have a dating disaster story to amuse your friends. Someone weird or something strange that happened – like the guy who was wearing stockings under his trousers, or the blind date who said he was a six five body builder and turned out to be a five eight weed.

You can laugh about them in hindsight but at the time they were a nightmare and you lost whole chunks of your precious time ”interviewing unsuitable candidates”.

Despite the extremes where it’s obvious you just aren’t going to get on, mostly it does take more than one date to tell if someone half decent is actually going to be the partner of your dreams. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is usually necessary because many of the most intense relationships develop over time.

Not all dates are so weird they become fables you tell in the pub, but many are memorable because they just didn’t work and caused so much emotional upset, you wonder if there’s any point in bothering.

So is there a way to decide if your date is a dream or a disaster in the making? Try this checklist:

• When you first met were you excited or dead calm?
• When you first saw your date did you think they were the best thing you’ve seen for a long while, or did you experience disappointment?
• Did you love the choice and venue for the date or did you feel you had to put in too much of the work to plan it?
• Was the conversation easy and relaxed or were you struggling for topics?
• Did you find yourself looking forward to a goodnight kiss, or did it never cross your mind?

Even if you’re now sure your date isn’t going to be a keeper, don’t forget nerves and expectations often get in the way when we first meet, so give it time if you’re in two minds. Love at first sight doesn’t happen too often and the best relationships can develop from friendships. However you might be on to a loser, if on top of the above you find yourself saying yes to any of these:

• Do they have fixed views, wishes or characteristics that don’t fit in with your lifestyle or beliefs?
• Do they have a criminal record or involvement?
• Do they exhibit bad temper over surprising things?
• Do they have bad manners?
• Do they refuse, or avoid talking about their feelings or hopes for the future (emotionally unavailable)?
• Are they currently involved with someone else?

No one wants a dating disaster, but a few bad ones will assist you in developing a checklist of your own that will protect you and help you get the partner you want.