Why Do They Stay?

Hearing the recent Rhianna story really got me thinking.  I know there is an epidemic about domestic violence, but why would a woman want to stay in a relationship that is abusive?  Not just women either. When we think domestic violence, a lot of time we think a woman is being beat up, but that’s not always the case.   Doesn’t it sound easy to just leave?  People don’t understand why a woman, or man, would rather be treated like crap than to live their lives happily.  Another thing we think of when we heard the words domestic violence is we think of a women who is being beaten up by her mate.  Domestic violence can be physical, emotional, spiritual, or sexual.   I looked into some statistics, and some reasons, and this is what I’ve found.

A study was conducted in the 50 states and District of Columbia, and they found that nearly 25% of woman and 7.6% of men were raped and/or physically assaulted some time in their life by a current or former partner. This means approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are abused annually by their partners!!  That’s a lot of people!!!  Why has this happened???  Why don’t victims put their foot down?  In 2000 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by their partner.  This is so scary!  Your intimate partner is suppose to be your best friend. That’s why you marry someone, because you are compatible with them, and you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with that person, growing old with them.  I’m sure that hardly any of the people who are abused today knew the day they got with, or married their partner that he/she would hurt them.  Your spouse is suppose to protect you, no be the one you need protection from!  What what are the reasons victims stay with their abusers? 

After doing some research, I have found some of the top reasons that people stay with their abusers.

Children

When a family has children together, they many times stay together because of the children. They don’t want the kids to become a statistic.  Plus there is a custody battle that they don’t want to deal with.  Many woman who are married with children are unemployed. Their husbands have the jobs to support them. This is very likely also in an abusive relationship, the abuser doesn’t want his victim to work and have independence.  Therefore, if the woman left, the man she feels that the man would win in a custody battle because of his employment.  The sound of a child asking for his father is heartbreaking. A mother who has been abused cannot stand the sound of her child asking for his father.  A child loves his parents no matter what they have done.  This is where the victim really needs to stop and think.  Would she rather her child be sad that they cannot see their parent for awhile, or would she rather her child see her mommy being beat up by mommy.  Children who see abuse as a child are more likely to abuse, or be in an abusive relationship as adults.  We must stop the cycle now. Show your children that you are putting a stop to the violence now. It will be easier on the children!!