Why Drama?

Why do people have to cause drama? I, for one, will admit that I am a gossiper. It’s harmless to an extent, to the point where people start nasty rumors and start to hate you for something you didn’t even do. Believe me, I had my share of drama, rumors, and gossip during my senior year in high school, and I wasn’t a strong enough person to deal with it, so I avoided, ignored, and shielded my eyes from everything and just went on with my day. The result is that I had a horrible senior year. It wasn’t what I wanted it to be, I was shy, quiet, and ashamed of myself everyday.

I’ve done things that I don’t necessarily regret, more like I’m ashamed of myself, or I made a mistake and I’m learning from them. Never will I regret something I do, because everything can be fixed, it can be fixed. The point is whether or not it wants to be fixed. There are certain relationships I don’t want to fix after a certain point, and there’s some relationships that are used and abused to the point where it makes me want to avoid the person forever. Avoidence is my specialty. I can avoid eyes, voices, anything. I don’t want to do it, it hurts, it kills, it burns, it everything, but when, as pheobe says in Friends, ‘You cut someone out of your life’, it’s something you have to do. Some people shouldn’t be your life, and in mine, I don’t want certain people in it.

I avoid drama. I specifically go out of my way to avoid drama. Examples could flow from my fingers of all the experiences of drama that I’ve gone through–My first job, senior year, bestfriends, boys, family, weddings–but avoiding the problem doesn’t solve it. Avoiding something won’t make it go away, ever, but the problem starts to fade, and it’s no longer an issue. Like a dirty dish with egg baked into it, you scrub and scrub and the dish will no longer shine, but if it sits under soapy water long enough, that egg will come right up. 

I’ve come to the point where I don’t need or want people in my life who are going to cause drama. I thought I got out of that situation, but amazingly enough, it arised again. Surprised though I shouldn’t be. People who try to influence my life in a way that isn’t good for me, especially if they’re my friends and they know me, are definitely going to take the door out of my life. People who use your life problems to make you feel worse about yourself are scum. Friends don’t call you names. Friends don’t make you feel like dirt. Friends don’t influence you, or even try to peer pressure you into doing something you are personally against are the worst scum of all. Friends who can’t take the blame, and who turn their back against you when you’ve done so much for them, are scum. Have I gotten my point across yet? Treat me like dirt, and you won’t hear from me again. I don’t make lives miserable, I don’t stalk and try to do horrible things to make someone miserable, because my life is more important than theirs, because I’m living my life.

Life is beautiful. The people in my life are beautiful. It’s foolish, that simple thought, of using a person. Users are scum. Live life with eyes open wide, and fingers outstretched, and chest expanded. Live it as though your heart were about to burst, and tears were about to stream down your face. Never give up on a dream that has expanded to reach the sun and stars. Just remember: in your dreams you can fly.