Why Inter-Personal Problems Should be Effectively Managed

Giant-sized egos of individuals is another problem.  When people are praised by someone for some very small achievement, they start believing that they are the best or far better than others in the same profession.  This illusion makes them possess an ego that is very bad.  They refuse to allow others to develop or even accept that others are also as talented as they are.  In formal organizations, the CEO and the HR Managers have to understand the genesis of such egos and nip them in the bud.  Such individuals — no matter what they are — should shed their egos in the larger interest of the organization.

Among couples, such egos have the potential of breaking relationships for ever.  In India, the heros from the cinema world are supposed to be role models.  However, most of them lead miserable lives.  They often get married to the very same ladies they fall in love with, in the movies.  When reality dawns on them, they find it very hard to adjust to the egos.  Both the husband and wife have egos nurtured for a very long time, thanks to the huge fan following.  However, this turns into a disaster, as the vital-give-and-take philosophy — that is the touchstone for  hundreds of thousands of families surviving as very viable units in Indian society , irrespective of their economic status — is totally absent.

In every human being, there should be a very big level of self-awareness.  This self-awareness should ring alarm bells at any point in time, and alert the person concerned to mistakes that he or she does at any point int time.  This should serve as a lesson, so that there is an enlightened awareness of how and why he or she should develop good inter-personal relationships at any point in time. 

Very often, it is this lack of self-awareness that leads to very undesirable concequences.  There is one X generation in India, that is now facing this identity problem.  In this generation, both the husband and wife are professionals, who meet with each other in their workplace, fall in love, and eventually get married with the consent of their parents on both sides.  However, wherever the consent of the parents is absent, the husband and wife do not see eye to eye, since the marriage itself had taken place on the basis of physical attraction and nothing else.  Since the combined income of the husband and wife is much higher than their parents or even an entire generation before them, they start spending money like never before.  It is this spending that has in fact helped the Indian economy to grow.  But it has also lead to increased divorces, huge ego problems at all times, increasing tension, violence let loose by the husband or the wife, and an increasing number of extra-marital relationships. 

Even in cases where the love marriages have happened without the consent of parents on either side, it is quite possible to reconsile their differences and live a very peaceful life, if only there is a will.  This will is absent in most cases, and is leading to disastrous consequences, partly because of very busy lives, with eighteen-hour work days being very very common.

Hence, it is very important that there is frank and free communication in inter-personal relationships.  Absence of this communication will result in most inter-personal relationships breaking up with increasing frequency.  Irrespective of any society, the common rules of healty inter-personal relationships are one and the same — an atmosphere of give and take, very good understanding between the husband and wife or between the two individuals concerned, and a huge amount of communication to take things to the next level of far better inter-personal relationships.  Since inter-personal relationships also have a bearing on the society, it is very essential that they are managed well.  There is absolutely no choice here.