Why Love Gets Lost

If you are planning to make your relationship eternal by getting married then think again and give it a second thought. Are you ready for it?

Let’s see why love matches are becoming battlegrounds. And how it can be improved and get your love life back on track. And keep it there.

Why Love Gets Lost:

• The reason behind marriages coming apart these days is that partners have very high expectations of each other without really giving the same inputs in return. Marriages seem to be becoming a take-take relationship instead of give-and-take ones. Another reason that crops up is financial insecurity. In spite of being in a relationship, partners want to be financially secure and this, at times, creates a race or competition between them for fiscal superiority. Also, boredom in a relationship can lead to formation of associations outside marriage, which can cause permanent damage.
• The one thing that seems to create problems between couples is the tendency to operate on the extremes of a continuum with ‘me’ on one end and ‘you’ on the other. This means that in a relationship, a person is thinking only about how his/her own feelings and how much of his/her needs and wishes are being met. Another factor that seems to run hand-in-hand is the absence of communication. Communicating is Not the same as talking; talking is but a component of communication and hence, in itself, incomplete.
• Constructive communication is almost always absent between warring couples. Most people are aggressive only about their needs and do not budge when it comes to their partner’s requirements. They feel that compromise indicates weakness. The boundaries for personal finances are fuzzy just as they are for significant relationships outside a marriage. With more and more couple working, many end up having deep friendship with people other than their spouse, which leads to jealousy, mistrust and untimely, the breakdown of a marriage.

How  You Can Make It Better:

• If you want your love match to work out, learn to let go. Forgive and move on once a particular crisis has been resolved. Stop clinging to issues from the past. Don’t keep bringing them again and again. Get into the habit of focusing on the topic at hand and don’t jump from one point to another. Also, get out of the habit of beating around the bush. Say what you want instead of hoping your partner will understand your needs.
• Break the routine or monotony of your relationship. Small things like a loving phone call or an email can brightens your partner’s day.
• Sexual desire is a powerful, positive, persuasive emotion that drives any relationship. Don’t hesitate to indulge it.
• Be more sensitive to your partner if you want your marriage to work. Set your boundaries early and respect  each other’s private space. Learn to negotiate with each other to avoid unnecessary conflict, and look at the things or solutions that work for both instead of going your way.
• Dare to listen and understand. Respond to where the other person is coming from rather than reacting to his/her behaviour. Say ‘I love you’. Love is the biggest healer.
• Keep the identity of the relationship intact and prioritise. Decide what is important – ‘I’ or the relationship! And if it’s the latter, then a part of ‘me’ and ‘you’ needs to be kept aside. Also, most fighting couples have the tendency to sleep over issues. If there is a problem, address it fast.

It’s possible that your relationship graphs soars upwards with these tips.