Why The Nice Guy Always Gets Dumped

You once fell in love with him. He wasn’t all that handsome perhaps, or even if he was, you didn’t notice that alone. He was shy but overly kind to you and well mannered at the same time. He held that umbrella for you whenever rain fell, he knew how to dress responsibly and often got your girlfriends talking, he often took you out and bought you what you needed, he never forced you into bed, he never had the hurry to sleep with you, and waited for the time when you would be ready.

The nice guy would never slap you silly or raise a finger on you. He never mistreated you in any way and gave you all his attention. No day passed without him calling and you didn’t hesitate to take him home to your parents. He was perfect, send from up above just for you and never would let a day pass without letting you know how important you were in his life. He was Mr. Nice Guy.

How did you pay him back? You fell for some crap at the salon and slept with him on the first date. This crap wasn’t well groomed, he was ill mannered to say the least and couldn’t hesitate to slap you and treat you like dirt, he spend all your money for his gambling always drove him into borrowing from everyone beginning with you.

The bad boy never called you nor bothered to know your whereabouts, and you took him out instead for you felt helplessly attracted to him. When it was all over, when things had already gone too far, you wished for the nice guy that you had dumped for this numskull.

When you went back, the nice guy knew he would always love you, he would always forgive you, he would always be there for you, he knew you were the one he wanted despite your little failings.

Why do women always dump the nice guy? Why are the gentlemen among us rejected and humiliated everyday? Why are the bad boys always getting the good girls they never deserved, hurting them and getting away with it? It’s not in the genes and I will try to give the answer to this age old question.

I have argued in the past that existence is the search for equilibrium between the real and the ideal. I have also stated in the past that nature tends towards destruction. When the human mind is bombarded with goodness and perfection, he or she tends to be repulsed and moves towards the very opposite pole. When laws are created, the human mind will always want to break them rather than obey. The religious among us sin against God because he is so good to them. Perfection makes us sick for the mind is always thrilled with challenges and perfection offers none.

Why am I saying this? The good girl often gets tired of the perfection or near perfection that the good guy offers. Deep inside she longs for so someone who is far from perfect, someone that she can try and change for the better. She wants some coarseness that will help her stay relevant in the relationship. When she finds his rat hole all dusty and overgrown with mildew and begins to clean it up, she feels useful in the bad boy’s life but when she goes to Mr. Nice and finds his clothing washed and well pressed already, and his house sparkling clean, she gets bored and feels irrelevant. That is nature. It tends towards destruction and there is little we can do about it.

There you are! You may not physically dump your nice guy, but emotionally you dumped him at some point, mentally you wish for some brute somewhere who will never respect you for who you are, and when its all over, you scream that the good men are all taken. What a lie. Good men are out there but no one wants them! They have to pay the price of being near perfect!