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Women Don’t Know What A Good Man Is and When They Do Meet One, They Don’t Know How To Handle Him

Women in this time have lost site of what a real man is.

I can’t understand women. Why they fall for the guys who mistreat them, abandon them, use them, etc? Why do women keep taking guys back that beat up on them, cheat on them, etc.? I see this a lot with women from different religions and races and ages.

During my life in Los Angeles for 2 ½ years, I had made friends with a girl that is a single mom. She’s a year older me and I won’t reveal to anyone her race. Her baby daddy is a meth. addict that has four kids with another girl that he was with before she met him. Anyways, after being friends with her for a year, she allowed him to come back into their lives because he was trying to sober up, again! He was around for a couple of months and then one day he took off.

A couple of weeks later, one of her friends saw him on the streets of Skid Row drinking, laughing, and having a good time. Then guess what, she came running to me for comfort. And man did I make one of the biggest mistakes of my life! I comforted her and spent time with her and ended up becoming a father figure to her son and he came to love me to death.

Well anyways, we was hanging out a lot and she talked my ears off about things like she was trying to make herself all wise, but it turns out that she’s full of crap. I think that I got used more than any thing else by her. To make this long story short, no matter what I did for her and her kid I still wasn’t good enough for her.

I was the only guy who cared about the person inside of her and looked past her mistakes in life and during our 2 ½ years of friendship and me wanting to be with her, I tried not once to have sex with her. Her boy came to love me like a father and every time he saw me he would get excited and jump up about it. She told me about all of the other guys that she was with and I was the only one who cared about her and not just for the sex like the others in her life.

Then guess what? The piece of garbage came back. After being gone for over a year and doing only what God knows and with only God knows who. He came back to her and told her his famous, along with other piece of crap guys, lines by saying “Girl, I’m sorry. I love you and think the world of you. I made a mistake and hope that you can forgive me. I want to do better and be in your life and our kid’s life. I love you.”

However, if you read in between the lines you would realize what he was actually saying to her “Bitch, you are the dumbest girl that I have ever met. You aren’t worth anything and you’re not special. Take me back and put a roof over my head and help me out with whatever I need and during all of this let me get on top of you.” Overall, despite all that I had done for her and her kid, a meth addict was more man and more worth having than me.

Why do women do that? Its just proof that women don’t know what a good man is and when they come to meet one, they don’t know how to handle him.

Let’s look at other scenarios. Girls that get involved with the 50 Cent wannabe that doesn’t want to work and earn money the right way. Guys that get involved with drugs whether it be doing them or sale them. Guys who call hustling a career and getting shot at over something stupid and going to prison for half a life a real man. What more do women want in a guy? A good man should put his woman first and their kids (if they have any) and treat her with respect and if it comes down to it he should be willing to loose his life for hers. A girl told me that women do this because they have a fear of being alone, its not a fear its because they’re not hitting on anything themselves.

Then you got the other morans who wont date a guy unless he has a car and Lex Lugar figure. But that’s another thing and I don’t feel like getting into that. But you know what really grinds my gears? Is Christian women! They’re just as bad as sinner women. I tell you that all because a girl claims to be saved that doesn’t mean that she still isn’t stupid.

A woman who claims to be saved should know what a real man is and not be listening to the world. But yet they still base their relationships on what Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey, Janet Jackson, etc. say that a man is.

If you use your common sense then maybe you should learn that taking advice from celebrities isn’t smart because they can’t hold a man themselves. That’s like a white man telling a black man what its like to be oppressed because of their skin color.

It is my argument that women in American society have become so ignorant that they don’t know what a man is nor do they know how to handle him. I’ll take this argument with anyone and be able to win. Thank you very much for reading and have a nice day.

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User Comments
  1. g

    On January 5, 2008 at 8:07 am

    “I tried not once to have sex with her. “

    Maybe this has something to do with your unsuccessful relationship.

  2. Frampton

    On January 5, 2008 at 10:19 am

    I definitely feel your pain. Having lived in L.A. for most of my life, I had the same frustration. Women there have unbelievable standards (or lack thereof). It took moving away from California (to Texas, of all places) to meet the kind of women who were real, down-to-earth, not so image obsessed. As soon as I was transferred from L.A. to Houston, I finally started having a real love life, the kind I used to only dream about. My advice: get out of California (Northern or Southern). AND your should read Good luck!

  3. overthetrail

    On January 5, 2008 at 11:06 am

    Well, this is a sad story and I feel for you. However, I’m a woman and look at men and think the same thing. I’m an attractive woman who is responsible, has a well paying job, I take care of myself, I’m funny, loving and compassionate. And the men I see? They’re like me, but for whatever reason are married to women who won’t work, have dragged multiple children along with them to be supported by these men, dress trashy and mostly look like they’re dressed to go hang out at the bar, if not to hang onto a pole. I have discussions with my friends about how these women actually find men who will marry them. Apparently these guys just need someone to take care of and help out. Frampton has the right idea – find a real woman; we’re actually out here, but shaking our heads at the men we see.

  4. Sadly, I am one of these women...

    On January 5, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    For one reason or another, the type of abusive man you describe seems to be the only kind of man I can attract. My male friends are wonderful people but they have never shown me any interest. So at this point I just choose not to date, rather than get my heart broken again.

  5. ankz

    On January 5, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    all true .. not only in america but everywhere .. spent half of my life listening to women frnds about how their ex treated them and went .. i know more what these guys have done than these guys themselves .. and at the end all i was their honest reliable friend who cud listen to them .. one virgin i was .. sick .. one day i reversed my character and attitude and started treating the same the girls i met as those stupid ex-es .. and lo i was blessed with skin .. and then they started going and crying on shoulder of some fool telling him what i have done to her .. hahaha ..

  6. legi0n

    On January 5, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    you sir, are an AFC. otherwise known as an average frustrated chump. google “neil strauss” and that should be the answer to more or less all your problems. do not fret, i am more or less in the same boat as you and i’m not trying to be condescending, but rather, trying to help you. there are certain things that women respond to readily, and invoking them in her, you are able to get the desired results immediately if not sooner. hope this was helpful!

  7. roorback

    On January 5, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Maybe instead of blaming women, you should look at yourself and stop gravitating to the messed up ones and trying to save them. There are perfectly good women out there.

    It’s you, not the women.

    I’m just saying this to you because I’ve been there, and I understand. But I learned.

  8. Lisette

    On January 5, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    If you think of it, you are just like that woman you’re blaming. She’s going after the messed up guy, and you’re going after that messed up woman. Follow the advice you give her. Let her go!! She’s no good for you. There is probably some other woman who is good, just like you. Let the messed up people be with their messed up mate.

  9. Diesel

    On January 5, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    KevinW hit the bullseye. It’s some deep psychology at play when it comes to attracting women. Think about this… When you’re being the “nice guy”, you’re sub-consciously telling her that she’s better than you by trying to win her affection. You listen to her talk, you take care of her kid, you do all these things to try to prove to her that you’re a nice guy and she should be with you.

    Instead, do your own thing confidently. Everybody knows that women are attracted to jerks. Here’s the secret: it’s not the jerk that attracts them, it’s the confidence the jerk has that attracts them.

    Let’s say you’re looking for a career. One boss who interviews you is really nice and asks if you’re cold and turns up the heat for you. He says that you’re the only person interviewing. He says that he hopes that you are impressed with his company and want to join. At the end of the interview he asks you if you’ll please, please, please take the job.

    Another boss at a different company asks you tough questions. He leans back in his chair and looks at you like you’re not doing well on the interview. He tells you that he has 15 other candidates he’s interviewing after you.

    Which job would you want more?

  10. Frampton

    On January 5, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Lisette makes a great point. You do have a lot in common with this girl: both are chasing a loser. Kevin found his true love in Alabama, as I did in Texas. Maybe you should head South, where women outnumber men. Whatever you do, drop that woman like a hot potato.

  11. Amy

    On January 5, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    You are chasing the wrong kind of woman. Anyway, why have you been investing yourself in this relationship when it’s clear she’s not interested? If you are a nice guy, find a woman who likes nice guys! Look for women who are confident and have their act together. And be confident and have *your* act together. Then when love happens you are ready for it. (I met the love of my life at age 39)

  12. Hilly

    On January 5, 2008 at 7:38 pm

    I believe women who go for abuse guys, have very low self-esteem and lack self-respect and self-love, due to past abuse.
    Young girl you have been condition to be a victim, will grow up to belief they are victims and hence attract the abuser.
    The question is why did you attract this lady into your life, instead of a self-respecting well adjust lady?
    I am not implying you are an abusive guy, however, if your vibration is fear-based rather than resonating with self-love and self-respect, you continue to attract people who lack self-love.
    People are only able to receive love, when they begin to value and love themselves.
    Hence as you begin to love self, your vibratory rate changes and you’ll attract differnt women into your life.
    I thank you for this interestin article. I appreciate it.

  13. Anne Lyken-Garner

    On January 6, 2008 at 10:41 am

    I’m sorry that you are still hurting over a woman who you obviously cared about. But this is no reason to paint us all with the same brush.

    You have no right to generalise like that. I’ve always gone for the nice, good type of guy and married one. I know a lot of women just like me.

    A woman should not use a bad experience with one man to say that all men are rubbish, equally, you should not use this woman who was obviously dysfunctional, to say we are all like that.

    I don’t think that this article is a true representation of the reality of life.

  14. Some jerk

    On January 6, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    You’re right that a lot of woman don’t know what a REAL man is.

    But sadly…


  15. muzikjock

    On January 8, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    i cant help but feel all this guy says. been there, done that. i went one step further. i married the woman. raised her kids and the one we had together. i took 12 years of her abuse. and she still doesnt know what a good man is . or didnt until i said good bye and moved out. now all i get is the “im sorrys” . now im a baby daddy. i still love hers and mine. and wont stop being a father to them. its not their fault. i have also stopped dating. i dont need the crap anymore. and i have assumed a virtual social life. i dont trust anymore. this man writing this blog is more than a man, he’s not a wuss. it takes a man to stand in the face of adversity such as he described here. anyone telling me that he is a wuss never tried what he tried. or what i had the courage to do. i wasted 12 years with a woman who never gave it a thought what a man she had living and covering her . never did she have a worry. but like he said. since there were no worries, she had to make something to worry about. and i ended up being nothing more than a sucker to put out fires that she created. i have since moved on . and dont care to go down that road again. i miss the intamacy and the companionship. but not as much as i hate being abused. i can do bad by my self. my hat comes off to this man. and im not ashamed to state my race. i am a white man . and my ex wife is an african american woman. and as he states, it matters not what race you are. its what is in your heart that determines your character. i wish this man , who ever he is all the best. dont lose hope as i have. i just dont play the games anymore. i live alone, with my boys. and i take care of mine. she can find another fool to play games. my man, you are ok with me.

  16. Liane Schmidt

    On January 9, 2008 at 12:21 am

    The “dating world” can be a challenge no matter what gender you are. I think this has to do with the fact that people need to realize that true love and true friendship go hand in hand. People need to stop and look at how their friendships with their best friends, for example, developed. They did not develop overnight for the most part, but over time and great memories created spending time together and only wanting the very best for the other person. When applied in a romantic fashion, true love is possible. No one person, ethnic group, career field, etc. can be labeled as being one way or another. We are all individual – blank canvasses until we paint a picture of ourselves to others.

    You will find the lady of your dreams. Never let anyone or anything jade your heart. Use every experience to learn more about yourself and what you want out of life and a significant other. Skies the limit! You can meet a wonderful person every place you go! Take care.

    Best wishes.


    -Liane Schmidt.


    On January 11, 2008 at 7:13 am


  18. Lex

    On May 6, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    I agree with you 100% man ! All I hear from my female friends is that they can’t find a “good man”. Truth is if you had one you would kick him to the curb.Females want challenges . I actually went through a period about a year ago where I would tell the girl on our first encounter that I was going to see other people and NEVER be exclusive to just her, you know waht happens …………. you guessed it about 5 girls won’t leave me alone and always want me to be with them ! I then meet one that I like and want to just date her, she goes back to her stealin good for nothin ex !!!!!! I completely give up on women, I truly could care less to date anybody, complete psychos out there !

  19. mary

    On June 4, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Too bad! ad rather be in no relationship at all than crumble and stuggle with a bad one.Ladies dont be too desperate for love.Our father God in heaven loves us most.No one can match his love for us.Let us not loose the grips of our lives trying to make things right for a man who doesn,t care or has simply decided to be more than silly.Such men are unfit for mercy if they happen to come too close into your life ditch the like worn out glasses droped on the floor and crushed or the way you would throw a stone into the sea and move on with your life like they never existed.

  20. arg

    On July 29, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    your spelling and grammar are horrible. that could be part of it.

    also, maybe you should have given up on someone dumb enough to have a child with a meth addict. just saying.

  21. Olga Lednichenko

    On September 23, 2008 at 8:05 am

    There are 3 aspects to a relationships: Mental.Physical and Emotional. And since its not an exact science -> rather an art in regression and co-relation, we try. It takes time to get the feedback and then adjust to new ways- refine the thoughts and thinking process.. perhaps that explains the journey – that of Trial and Error..
    Olga Lednichenko

  22. naija

    On March 13, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    women live in a fake world. they live in fantasy. Only a very few of them really know waht they want. In general they are myopic,ignorant, low self esteem and confused. i anm writing from nigeria. is the same here.

  23. Hannah

    On April 14, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    Well guys,
    There is prolly more to the story, I am a woman that is responsible too, Dont do anything wrong, go to work, come home, clean my house, do homework with the little one, go to bed to wake up to do it all over again. My hubby aint perfect and has put me through alot of crap and I’ve also put him through crap too through the 14 years, I’ve also told him I was following his lead, lol. I can tell you what I think the problems are in why women do this, they may have been with them a long time, After so long, women are used to living with the turmoil in their life and dont know how to function without it, men are the same way. We are creature of habits. We become each others addiction. It seems that they are misreable with them, but guess what? Even more misreable without them. They start thinking of the good times they had together, especially the ones in the beginning!! Then they start thinking about them being happy with someone else and you know they cant have that! Women like to be kept on their toes and thats exactly what the bad boys are doing! Women if you have a bad boy, if you cant beat em, join em…..NOT WITH DRUGS or anything just go have fun, its your life too! and if they dont want to act right, give them a dose of their own medicine, and yes I know 2 wrongs dont make a right but men are animals, all of them, even if they say they are happily married, trust me, I know! I would never cheat on my hubby or my family but sometimes you just gotta put them bad boys in check in different ways, keep them on their toes too! As far as the good guys, you may not understand why woman do this but when a woman gives their whole heart to another man, their is usually no turning back. Sorry, that just will never change! Good luck!

  24. Htown713

    On November 7, 2009 at 10:37 am

    There’s a verse in the bible that talks about putting evil for good & calling evil,good & good,evil.A woman is bored by a man that wants to do the right thing.& you wonder why there are so many single mothers out there.You wonder why there are women in their 40s with no man.& you wonder why there are kids growing up with no father in the house.& you wonder why these things happen everyday?Because she wanted a challange,Thugs & bad boys are the evil counterparts which women think is good,but there are serious consquences in the end.You’ll find the scripture in Isaiah 5:20,21.

  25. Justanotherman

    On February 6, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    Fundamentally I believe women are basically incapable of maintaining an emotionally steady state. One of the key indicators of this is the percentage of adult females on medications to moderate their mental instabilities. Something like almost 50% of women are taking medications like Prozac. And the scary thing is, you never see 100% of any population receiving the treatment they need. So even though 50% are medicated, most likely there are many who need the medication and aren’t getting it.

    If you go back to a less prosperous time, they had more pressing issues (like surviving that day) . And while they maybe had some difficulty, they were most likely able to use the more pressing motivators to “pull it together” and function. Fast forward to today, and those motivators don’t exist. And now they’re lost in their day to day neurotic mindset.

    As a result, they can’t maintain any benefitial emotional state. They swing from one destructive end of the spectrum of behavior to the other. There is no life threatening consequences, it is all literally a silly joke to them. Whether its treating a good man like crap, or worshiping a loser… There are no Real consequences for them… since their primitive mind really only sees ‘life or death’ consequences as real and actual consequences. Much like a child, if they know there will be no spanking, no punishment, then the damage they may inflict on others property or person means nothing to them.

    We may forgive a child for being emotionally immature, for they are a child after all and have yet to mature. But grown women should know better… but sadly they don’t.

    Just try and remember… The love they express to you will never be constant, neither will their loyalty nor their appreciation of you. It will wax and wane. If you build in severe consequences into your interactions with a woman, much like you would with a child… you could possibliy force the woman to maintain a mental balance that was sufficiently stable to allow a long term relationship to exist. But you have to understand, you can never get ‘comfortable’ with them, you’ll never have any ‘emotional security’ with them. You have to be always willing to leave them at a moments notice, and they will have to be reminded of this fairly often; for they will always attempt to call your bluff. That is your only weapon. You can’t hit them, or starve them, or otherwise use brutality to keep their destructive and defective mentalities in check. These are obviously illegal and morally suspect strategies. Abandonment is the only legal tool that you can use.

    It is also the only tool one can justify to others. “I left, I will not be treated badly”. Its sad though that women of today are so emotionally immature. But you must remember, this is what they are. They are not ‘emotional’… they are weak, so weak they lack the strength to even govern their own stupidity.

  26. san

    On April 3, 2010 at 3:42 am

    First time posting like this but as I sit here watching Pretty Woman….I think, the real thing that’s jacked up … is the garbage our minds consume these days. We want to love each other or we just want sex, either way we can’t get passed the mental blockage created by our ego driven diets. PLEASE everyone knows when they’re in a bad relationship, or with a person that’s not worth the paper they wipe their hinny with. As a man, it’s frustrating to meet women who won’t give me the time of day, …or even the courtesy call they said they would give, in which they could then reveal that they won’t give you the time of day. However, what’s more frustrating is all of you perfectly healthy people wasting your lives with this petty bull. The large percent of you have not the foggiest freaking idea about life in general. If you could get past what your trying to accomplish (men and women) and think about the person your with or interested in …maybe you’d make that connection. And if not …move the hell on. I lost my kidneys as a child… I’ve had two transplants and I lost count of the other surgeries 10 years ago. I’m scarred from neck to knee. The women that aren’t chased away by that run the first time I go into the hospital. But I cycle 20 – 30 miles a week when its warm and work out daily. But I’ll never get half the chance most of you guys will …and by that I mean guys and girls…the physical and emotional pain I’ve felt surpass that of any relationship…I goggled this topic thinking I could find rational thought behind telling someone you would call with a smile in your voice and then not doing so ……plain and simple ….people just cant act like adults. No matter how old we get we’re still children, we still do childish things and handle things in childish manners. It’s a matter of those of us who have grown up enough to act as adults to move forward with one another. Now I know if I’m right of course, Im way to much a realist to believe that. But chew on this fiber for your congested, self-righteous pities ….would it be to much for you all to just be thankful you’ve had the opportunities you’ve had.

  27. noe

    On June 23, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    feminist/mangina clean up in aisle 5….

  28. ScorpioLady

    On January 7, 2011 at 2:06 am

    I’m not sure what women you guys are dealing with or how you are finding them. Maybe you need to meet a woman who is over her ex and ready to be in a relationship. It takes time for a woman or a man to truelly heal from a troubled relationship.

    I am a good woman that came out of a bad 13 year marriage. I took about 1 year to be by myself and not date any man until I knew for certain that I wasn’t going to get back with my husband. This way, I’m not damaging a possible future good relationship. Also, this time allowed me the chance to look at the good and bad things in the marriage so that I know what I needed to change about myself and what I was not willing to put up with.

    I have a degree and make good money to support myself and my kids so I don’t look for a man to come in and save me. Sounds like some of you feel used because you came in strong as a provider and feel rejected when she leaves. You should make a woman work for it just like we make you work for our time and affection. Anytime you put a lot of energy into something and work hard for it, you tend to have more appreciation for it. It becomes special to you.

    I dealt with 2 bad relationships after I was ready to date. Then I met a man that I wasn’t interested in dating. He did not fit any of the characteristics of the men that normally attract me to them. I thought it over (maybe I need to change things up – why expect a different result if you’re going to do the same thing over and over again) and realized that there may be some potential here so I proceeded with dating him. He’s not perfect but he is a good man with good intentions for me and my kids. He doesn’t have kids of his own and didn’t want a woman with kids but we fell in love. We have now been together a little over a year and we continue to work on the relationship. He shows me his love is growing for me and I show him my appreciation for him stepping in and being a role model for my kids. This man has complained about most of the women he’s dated to me….looks like he had some of the same issues you had. I enjoy showing him how important he is in our lives…there are several things he does that my husband didn’t care to do and I love it!

    That was a mouth full but the point I wanted to make is that……you really need to listen to these women when they talk. Most of the time, the red flags have been raised….these women are not over their exes so they will continue to accept the bullcrap back in their lives. Pay attention to how they live their life….Just observing them before jumping into anything will speak for itself….these women are not ready…….so it doesn’t matter if you are good…..they are emotionally unstable and will only deal with a relationship full of roller coasters…..when they had enough and want a good man, they will let go of the ex 100% and accept you in their lives…..there are woman out there that want a good man and will treat him like a king…you just have to pay close attention….

  29. so very true

    On October 8, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    most of the women out there now are not so good at all. many of them now are basket cases, and not worth meeting at all. it is very sad the way that they have become, which is why us good straight men cannot meet decent straight women today.

  30. absolutely right

    On March 1, 2012 at 6:52 pm

    i do have to agree that women today, have certainly have changed for the worse. they have become so very nasty, with their no good rotten attitude problem. what is up with that ladies? why are you women so rotten and mean today? hate men?, is that it? were you abused by men at one time? are many of you women now lesbians? please give me some answers, so then i can understand the problem. there are many good straight men like us that are still out there, that would know how to treat a woman very well. this is the absolute reason why, the good men cannot seem to connect with the good women today. i myself, hate going out as it is. it is like a game that can never be won. i would have never thought, meeting women was going to be so hard for me. i was married at one time, and i really thought my marriage was going to work before she cheated on me. i was hoping to have a family as well, and possibly having grandchildren too. now going out, and dealing with this bullshit again sucks. i am in my late fifties, which even makes it a lot worse for me. when you get to be my age, time is short. if i was thirty years younger again, then i would have plenty of time to work with. now i just go out, and hope for the best.

  31. straight man says

    On May 10, 2012 at 11:19 am

    the problem that we have today is that there are so many LOW LIFE GARBAGE WOMEN, and so many of them now are LESBIANS nowadays.

  32. Marcius E. Chester

    On July 24, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    It has alot to do with the way the people have been raised.
    Alot of women want the bad guy, they think that the grass is greener on the other side, when it is not, and love getting beat up, to them that is a turn on. They do not know how to handle a good man when he comes along. They want to guys that dress like thugs and not someone that dress conservative.
    Only after their biological clock starts coming up and they want to settle down and raise a family.
    All good men and women should stay true to themselves and not get involved with people that is not going to make your heart happy. Love yourself first and you will find your true love.
    Never give up. Everyone has in within themselves to find true love. You will know it when it happens because true love only comes around one time. It might take awhile but its worth it.
    Everyone wants to have their best friend, lover, soulmate that they can spend the rest of their life with and have a family if they choice to.
    So stay away from the lust and let true love come into your heart.When you find it, it will be someone that you will not be able to explain, that’s how powerful true love is.

  33. mike says

    On August 7, 2012 at 12:54 am

    so many women these days are so very selfish to begin with, and with the attitude that they have just makes it worse. whatever happened to the good women that did exist at one time? many women today just can’t stay with only one man, and need to date as many men as they possibly can. they seem to be having a contest with their girlfriends to see how many men they can date at one time, and what a bunch of losers they are. it has certainly become very hard for us men that are seriously looking to meet a good woman now.

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