Writings Challenges of Words in Our Relationships

I’ve been wondering about those times when we can’t write at all, because we feel overly emotional about love. What is it that stops us? Most of us know this as writers block, but their are those of us that are “affected” by our writing that it can set off all sorts of emotions that confuse us, and holds us back. It can become difficult to sort out those feelings at times, and to put them into words. Sometimes I have a really hard time with my writing, because my topic is closely related to my life; In fact, it is about my life and love. As I go through my relationships, and I try to write about love, the sadness and to make sense of someone else, I can spend weeks trying to figure it out. I question so many things happening between us, and I come to so many Revelations. It does become frustrating, but I know what my intention is with my writing, and so I follow that. My goal has always been to write about my love as it is, and in a truthful manner. So, much of my time is spent trying to analyze my “truth.” It is up to me to get down to that truthful bottom, so that I can remain true in my feelings about things. I also know that part of the process can be changing my mind about what I once felt. Sometimes it takes years to really get honest with ourselves about love. I want to get it right the best that I can. I want to get my writing honest. I’ve struggled for a few months now to get to that “bottom” of how someone that I love treats me wrong. I had to fight so many emotions to realize that I am deserving of so much more from love than what I had. The anger, the heartache, the hurt, the sadness, and the endless games from her, when would it be enough for me to let go? When would each time I said, “enough,” really be enough to leave? How many times did I overlook things that she did that were so hurtful, because I was in love. At some point, we need to strongly look at things for what they are, because no one deserves to be treated so badly. So, that “truth” is the decision maker. Do we stay? Or, do we go? I haven’t decided on my stories ending yet, but I know that I’ll be getting there through honesty.

The following are ten tips that may be helpful in easing the writing frustrations of your relationship, or of writing about something that closely affects us negatively:

Give it time. Writing about our own lives, and how we see things won’t always be easy. Take the time necessary to see things more clearly, so that you will feel more confident in your goal of writing with honesty. I worked on one topic for almost two months, because I wasn’t satisfied that I was making sense yet of what I was going through. I was frustrated, but also patient, and in time I reached my truth.

Keep attacking it. Don’t be afraid to keep going after your topic, because if you stop thinking about it you’ll never get “your awakening.” I see this as a breakthrough, and the only way for us to grow is to continue to learn about ourselves. A sticking point is not a failure, it’s an opportunity to get deeper within ourselves.

It’ll come. The last thing that you want to do is to give up. Writing can be frustrating, and we won’t always find the words flowing out of us. Eventually what we are searching for we shall find, and we will be satisfied. Sometimes with patience we see that there is a better way to work through a struggle with our writing.

Time helps us make sense of it all. Stepping back, and analyzing something is never a bad idea. Sometimes I’ve written something, but I know that my perception of what I once thought has changed. Getting to the bottom of what our truth is takes time, and the ability to know how to get to the truth. I have no problem waiting anymore to take the time to make sense of something, because when I get that end result I am much better satisfied. It is a proud moment when we have finally reached near perfection with something that took longer to complete.

Things can change for us. We should never think that what we once felt can’t be retracted. We may write about someone, or a feeling that we have only to realize much later that we were wrong all along. It could be that people may come in and out of our lives changing our feelings about them, or situations. Our level of respect for someone may change, and within our story we should add that. It could be years later, and we never can predict what can happen to change our thoughts on something. Writing is a progression, and as we change our stories will change, and grow. We don’t need to stop at one book when we can write many. We can always find a way to make a wrong a right, and I have no problem admitting this.

Things have a strange way of happening. We have no certainties in life, and we will never know when, or how something will happen. So, expect the strange and unexpected, because we can’t control everything. With relationships when we think that it may be over, it may not be. So, what we wrote about three years ago, and has been long forgotten, we may be writing about today as he/she shows up on our doorstep.

Don’t fear getting emotional. If you are writing about your own personal love story, feel as though you go back to that place in time, or conversation in order to bring it to life as it happened. Most people expect love to be tragic, perhaps before the stories happy ending.

Don’t hold back your feelings. You are putting in so much time and effort into your writing, so don’t hold anything back. This is your chance to shine, to get it said perfectly, and you may be relying on this shot for a book deal. If you hold back, you’ll never know where you could have taken your writing. Always try to take an idea to the next level.

Don’t fear hurting someone with the truth. When we write about love we may be holding back, or hiding some things not to hurt someone we love. This may be someone from our past or present that has or is hurting us. When we love someone very much, and they don’t treat us the same, it’s still hard for us to want to be truthful in fear of completely losing them. This has happened to me a few times within my writing, but it took for me to realize that I deserved so much better for me to finally not be afraid of hurting someone else, because of the truth. Once you give up hoping that you will have the love that you wanted with that person, because it’s not going to happen it’s easier to be honest and not be so concerned about what they will feel. If someone is selfish see it as such.

Use honesty with your feelings as an experience to grow. Our relationships aren’t always going to be terrific. Be honest with yourself about how someone truly makes you feel, because when you do you may realize how unhappy they really make you feel. You may feel that you have found your deepest love with someone, but it doesn’t mean that you are happy, or that the relationship is the right one for you. Their should never need to be so many things that you need to overlook about the person you love, and you should never need to feel emotionally empty.

As writers, we can learn as much from ourselves through honesty in our writing as our readers can learn from us.