Yoruba Marriages

Once couples have agreed to get married, meeting each other’s family is the next step. Family plays an important role in marriage for the Yoruba people. The man goes to the woman’s family for “introduction”. The woman’s family would have made preparation for food and drinks. They get to know each other and then start making plans for the wedding, beginning with fixing a date. The husband’s family leaves with a promise to keep in touch. The families then go and carry out research on the other family to see if they are responsible people and their family well respected. They also check for hereditary diseases. During this period, the girl’s family prepares a list of things to be bought by the groom to be and when (if) the groom’s family turns out to meet the approval of the girl’s family, the list is given to them. This list includes things like tubers of yam, boxes with one filled with cloths for the bride to be and a lot of other thing. The bride price is also stated. This practice of paying bride price has been criticized and parents have been accused of selling their children. This has been disputed by parents who say that it is their custom and tradition and so can not be discarded. In recent times however, to show that they are not selling their children, some parents accept the bride price but later return it to the groom. The important thing is that it was paid (returned or not). This is to show that the girl is precious and is not being sent away in shame. The bride price is a thing of pride to parents and children as well.

Another interesting thing which used to happen in the olden days (not heard of it in recent times) was how highly virginity was held. So highly that after the wedding, everyone stays in front of the house waiting for the groom to come out and show to the whole village the white bed sheet which has been used to make their bed. If this bedspread is stained with blood then it means the girl was a virgin and the celebration would begin in earnest but if not, the girl is sent back to her parents in shame. She has brought shame to herself and her family and people become wary of that family.

During the wedding ceremony itself, the groom comes with a group of young men to pay respect to the girl’s family. After some things are said, they are all to lie prostrate before the girl’s family to show their respect. This is a sight to see as they all lie at the same time like trees being felled. They can not get up unless they are bailed with money (a good money making scheme lol). His people have to drop enough money before the bride’s parents tell them to stand.

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