Your Never Completely Forgiven

   So it happens, your with your significant other  for a long period of time, and you cheat. Regardless of the reason, being intoxicated, frustrated, or just plainly looking for something to enjoy, you have just destroyed every bit of trust your partner has in you. Now you feel bad, you know you was wrong and you want things to be back the way they were before your mishap. How do you make him/her understand how sorry you are? How do you gain back their trust? Will your relationship ever be the same?

  The answer to this is no, your relationship will never be the same. No matter how long it is down the road, if you even stay together, you will never be able to take back the pain and misery you caused your partner. True, your partner can say over and over again that they forgive you, and they might possibly have forgiven you in their heart, but there will always be that suspicion. Always in the back of their mind is a nagging little memory of what you did. Sometimes it goes away and they do not think about it for a while, but eventually at odd and random times it shows it ugly face and stirs up suspicions all over again.

  For a long time afterwards, your partner will worry themselves sick wondering about you and what your doing. They will constantly want to know where your at and who your with and proof that you are actually telling the truth when you tell them something. Your partner will constantly be wondering what it was that they did wrong, and blame their selves for your infidelity. They will look for flaws in themselves and become self conscious. When out in public they will watch every movement of your eyes, every facial expression, and will monitor ever word that comes out of you mouth about a member of the opposite sex.

 This will drive you insane and you will become frustrated wondering why your partner doesn’t trust you even after you have been faithful for a long period of time afterwards. It will probably cause alot of arguments in which your partner will bring up your past infidelity. No matter how much you say well that was 2, 5, 10, or even 15 years ago, it will not change a thing. If your partner was able to get over the pain enough to stay with you, you should not ask them for any more forgiveness. It is your fault that you lost your partners trust. You just need to deal with the fact that they will never trust you the same again. The pain you caused them before, and the pain it still causes them when they think about it is enough to deal with without you making them feel guilty about not trusting you.