Zones of Communication and Comfort

We all have certain distances at which we prefer to communicate with other people. Those distances make up the intimate, personal, social, and public zones of communications. The distances which determine these zones differ for everybody, but the effects which they create are fairly universal. Before describing their effects and importance, we must first know what they actually mean.

People with whom we feel very close to can comfortably be inside of our intimate zone. This includes loved family members, close friends, and lovers. Usually, intimate zones span about one to two feet away from a person.

The personal zone is used for friends, business associates, and those whom we feel comfortable (but not too comfortable) with. Common personal zone distances are two feet to five feet.

The area from five to ten feet away from person most often encompasses their social zone. The social zone is exactly what its name says it is. It is used to communicate at social functions like parties or casual gatherings.

The public zone is used for public speaking, and it encompasses all the distance away from a person beyond ten feet. When speaking publicly, the speaker’s listeners are never much closer than ten feet, allowing comfort for both the speaker and listeners.

Conflict arises when two people begin to communicate, and one moves into a zone in which the other does not want him/her. Whether one person infringes innocently or purposefully upon another’s intimate zone, the results are the same. Physiological changes take place in the person’s whose zone has been infringed upon. His/her heart rate speeds up, adrenaline is produced, and his/her body tenses up, in the process of preparing for a fight-or-flight situation.

This situation is common in times when a sexual advance is made, and one person isn’t interested. The advancer moves into the advanced-upon’s intimate zone, and the advanced-upon’s body and mind will negatively change. Entering the advanced-upon’s intimate zone too quickly makes him/her uncomfortable, furthers negative thoughts of the advancer, and lessens the advancer’s chances at succeeding in his/her ultimate goal.

Realizing an associate’s comfort distances and zones can drastically affect your relationship with him/her. The next time you’re at a social function or just talking to somebody at work or school; take note of the distance at which he/she communicates to you. Also, for the great purpose of self-realization, take note of the distance at which you subconsciously communicate with others.

Learning about yourself and others can only help your relationships and avoid the avoidable problems associated with zones of communication and comfort.