Action Sammy’s Dating Tips: What If The Sex is Bad?

So you’ve met Mr./Mrs. Wonderful. You’ve been seeing each other for a few months and have done lots of amazing things together. He/she is a fantastic person. Great personality and sesnse of humor. You’ve have much in common. You think you couldn’t have asked for a better partner.

But there’s just one minor problem. Mr./Mrs. Wonderful is a lousy sex partner. Dead as a doorknob. Too aggressive. Not aggressive enough. Too loud. Doesn’t moan. Oral techniques are awful. No holding afterwards. Or worse, doesn’t perform oral at all. For whatever reason, the sex is downright awful. The sex plainly sucks, no pun intended!

Okay, scratch that. Minor problem, your unsatisfied behind, right?! Major problem!

Sex frequently ranks among the most important things in a relationship for most of us. For many of us, it is the absolute most important thing; everything else in the relationship could be subpar but they wouldn’t care as long as their partners have superb lovemaking skills to offset whatever deficiencies they might have. Hey, to each his own. Yet, most of us are unable to bring up the topic of sex with our partners. And most are certainly afraid of telling them that their bedside skills just aren’t cutting it.

So, what do we do about it? Certainly, we don’t want to let an otherwise perfect relationship slip just because of the partner’s unsatisfactory lovemaking sills. Now, the good news is that, unless your partner truly despises sex, most people would like to know immediately if they are failing to sexually please their partners. Your partner is likely to be very happy that you’re opening up about this delicate topic rather than resorting to drastic measures like breaking up or worse, finding another partner for sexual gratification. This doesn’t mean that your will always be up whatever it will take to please you. If that’s the case, then your next move is up to you. But your partner will certainly be happy that you’re coming to him/her about it first.

Some things to remember:

1. The best time to bring up any discussion about sexual shortcomings is right before or immediately after lovemaking while your partner’s frame of mind is still in sexual mode. Don’t wait until you’re doing some other activity to say, “Uh, dear, the next time we make love…”
2. Generally, most people routinely ask their partners during lovemaking if they feel comfortable or satisfied. If your partner asks you during the love session if you are being pleased, don’t lie. This is the most common mistake people make because at this point your partner is inviting you to point out any discrepancies. This is the perfect time to mention them. Be tactful, however.
3. Along this same line, if your partner gives no reaction during lovemaking, ie., no moaning, no holding you, no caressing, etc., or if his/her facial expression betrays boredom or pain, ask them if they are comfortable. If they reply yes but you know full that this isn’t so, don’t accept that answer. Without pulling out and letting go, simply stop and politely insist they that tell you what the problem is. Since, as I stated before, many people are shy about discussing sex, it may require a little prodding to get your partner to open up but be patient and continue to politely insist the he/she tells you.
4. If your partner’s oral sex skills are significantly less than gratifying, tell him/her tactfully which way you like it. Simply ask him/her to slow down or take it easy, whichever is applicable. If your partner doesn’t perform oral but you enjoy it, bring it just before sex. Ask your partner why he/she doesn’t like it. There may be a good explanation as to why.

“There may be some things better than sex. There may be some things worse than sex. But there’s nothing quite like it.” W.C. Fields