Affairs

How do you work out who you should have an affair with and who not to bother with?  How do  you know that the person you are hoping to get into bed is not a bunny boiler or weirdo or has a nasty disease?  How do you know they will do what you want and accept it when you end it?  What if THEY want to end it and it is you that wants it to carry on and gets upset?

The thing about affairs is that they are about just sex usually so there are no commitments or promises or payment.  For the man it is a bit like seeing a prostitute who does not charge.  This is why so many men are always looking for affairs and one night stands, it saves them a lot of money if they can get someone who is willing to do it free!   Quite different for the woman,  who gets loads of offers to have serious and casual relationships and one night stands, some of them offering her money,  so she can be picky and may be more likely not to bother with the guy who does not offer to take her out or pay or makes it clear he just wants free casual sex.  There is another reason why it might be a good idea for a man to see a prostitute and that is that she will not nag him to leave his wife or move in with her or see her more.  She knows her place.  She does not care what his exact address is or what he is doing when he is not with her.  She gives him sex and company in return for money when it suits him.  Even women who love sex and thoroughly enjoy the sex they have with their man will usually not bother if they are not properly paid, if it is casual.  They may not need the money but they do not want to feel stupid or feel used.  And, if they did not charge they would not know that the man truly wants them and is not just going with anyone who is easy and available.

Affairs are not the answer if you are married and bored.  Then you need to sort things out with your spouse and either both agree to work on things and make it better or end the relationship totally.  An affair will only mean that you are not concentrating on things or giving the time to it that it needs, you are merely wallpapering over the cracks and pretending things are ok.  Then in a few years you realise that no matter how much fun you may have had you have had nothing meaningful and you still have not made the main relationship in your life work and you have wasted years of your life on just fiddling around on a day by day basis.