Affairs

Affairs often start as a bit of fun and they often stay that way but sometimes they become serious and this can be when the problems start.  If one wants more commitment and the other does not sparks might fly. When a woman feels used she can get very angry and few of them are happy to just walk away and move on.  You cannot tell a woman you are madly in love with her and then tell her that you want to stay with your wife or stay single, the two do not go together.  If you only want a bit of fun at least be honest about it so that if she starts to get too serious you can honestly claim that you did not lead her on and it is her own fault that she wants more. 

Men and women see sex differently, usually.  Men can see it as fun almost like a sport or hobby. Women usually see it as part of a relationship and are more fussy about who they do it with and under what circumstances they do it.  Very few women will want a man who makes it clear he only wants her for sex, especially if he can only see her now and then or is married or is very distant emotionally. Things go well when both have the same aims but when one wants one thing and the other wants another things go wrong, and usually men want different things to women.

Think of the hassle you can get IF the affair goes wrong and the person knows your phone number or where you live!  They might keep pestering you and maybe even go to where you work and if you are married they might spill the beans and tell those who you would not want to know. So in the long run affairs are a great idea if you are single or if you are very careful but not otherwise.  Even if a man is lucky enough to find a woman who is happy to have a sexual relationship with him with no strings, commitments or fees she usually gets fed up with it and walks away after a bit because it is not really fulfilling what she is seeking from a relationship.  To her it is a temporary stop gap until the real thing comes along, to him he likes it as it is and would not change it.

There are dating agencies that are specifically for married people.  They get lots of men joining and very few women. They have to allow women to join free because so few are interested.  The women that do join get loads to choose from and usually prefer to meet up with a single man, even if they are older than him and/or married themselves.  Because they are offering free casual sex they are very popular and can pick and choose and call the shots.

I have been a private relationship expert, life coach and therapist for many years. Read more articles by me, Carmel Brulez, at HELIUM.COM or see my website at carmelbrulez.homestead.com.  If you want to contact my office contact it through my website.  I and my staff are too busy to check this site.