All About Sexuality

History, experience and practice of human behaviour have shown that humans communicate in a deeper way than just body expressions. Sigmund Freud proved that sexuality plays a crucial role in the functioning of the personality as a whole. It is a force that influences every act of a person and is found at the centre of one’s life. All human relationships are somewhat sexual. Therefore a meaningful theory of human sexuality is not only tied to the bodily level as put forth by physicalists but relates sexuality to every level of human existence.

Human sexuality has to do with the physiological, psychological and spiritual characteristics of the human being and all aspects play their part when a person falls in love. In a relationship with his loved ones a human often considers intimacy,acceptance and security as more powerful needs than genital sex. After this realisation the need to express one self physically becomes less of a priority in the relationship. Human sexuality in fact deepens and enriches our human relationships leading to maturity and the insertion of self in society.

Sexuality is a :

• characteristic of human growth which requires one to build, deepen and enrich relationships with others to achieve personal fulfilment.
• communication language where one uses self-expression to show ones love for the other partner.

In order to succeed in building such relationships the human has to realise his potential, that is, discover oneself and then be creative and open to others.

Procreation is one form of creativity but not the only form of self expression. Specific sexual behaviours are necessary for the creative growth and integration of the human person. In these sexual behaviours one should:

• be able to liberate oneself and show his genuine self without fear or anxiety. This enhances the full development of the person’s self expression, promoting mutual trust.
• enrich others Sexuality must contribute to the growth process of the other. This requires one to be sensitive, considerate, thoughtful, understanding and supportive and not just non-manipulative and non-exploitive. Exploitation in sex is possible both inside and outside marriage. This is because sexual relationships are expressed through the body and may lead to both partners regarding the other as a thing.
• be honest Sexuality is an open expression of the depth of the relationship and while avoiding deception it promotes mutual trust.
• be faithful: Fidelity facilitates the development of a stable relationship characterised by the reciprocal interest and concern of the partners for each other. These interests grow deeper and richer with time.
• be ready to serve the others for lifeThis has to do with the helping and serving of others. In the celibate this aspect of human sexuality may be expressed by one dedicating his service to other people. For the married this life-serving purpose is expressed through the procreation and education of the children.
• be happy Human sexual expression should not be a mere submission to duty but should be enjoyed without feelings of guilt or remorse.

In spite of all the efforts, sexual conduct may prove frustrating. But it should be understood that just like other languages, sexual language has to be learnt gradually. Although mistakes and imperfections should be pointed out and challenged, too much emphasis on them must be avoided.

One must always realise that sexual development is a process and one learns by mistakes. It is like learning a language. Human sexuality is in fact a language.