Asexy: What It Means to be Asexual

Human beings like sex. It’s a fact that can easily be ascertained by simply observing the growth of the population. The majority of us (about 99%) enjoy and want to have sex. So it might be a bit difficult to understand or accept that some of us just aren’t interested.

I am asexual.

Most people aren’t very accepting of this. Some people would rather believe that I have some kind of twisted, perverted sexual fetish than accept that I am not interested in sex at all.

People ask, “Well, have you ever had sex? How would you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it?” People say, “You just haven’t found the right person yet.” People suggest that I have experienced some trauma with sex, that I’m just afraid of it. People have always said that as I grow, I will change. People say I have a hormonal imbalance or some such biological dysfunction.

Asexuality is not a disorder. There is nothing wrong with me. I am an intelligent, creative, functional human being. I just don’t want to have sex. Asexuality is the sexual orientation with which I was born. I wasn’t “made” to be asexual through any experience. And the whole experiencing sex concept is ridiculous. How would you know you wouldn’t like having a cigarette put out on your skin if you haven’t tried it? And if you have and didn’t enjoy it, well, maybe you just didn’t try the right brand, so keep trying!

No. I am asexual. For whatever reason, I do not experience sexual attraction towards anyone, nor do I want to have any sort of sexual experience. I have plenty of healthy relationships, which do involve physical contact such as hugging but not sex. I appreciate beauty in other human beings without ever being attracted to them on a sexual level.

What does it mean to be asexual in a world that is so dominated by sex? It means learning to laugh. That’s right. Instead of being repulsed by sex or befuddled by it; I learn to laugh about it. I do not mock it. I fully understand that it is a completely natural expression of one’s humanity. But I have learned not to take it so seriously. I can appreciate sexual humor, and I understand what “sexy” means. I smile about it. I accept it as a natural part of life.

Asexuality is not a disease or a freak anomaly. It is just a part of who I am, and a part of about 1% of the human population. I’m asexual, and I don’t think anyone who is asexual should be shunned or shocked by a society that is very much preoccupied with sex.

It’s just a part of who I am. I’m asexy.