Can Your Man Keep a Secret?

Here are some questions to determine whether or not he’s a loose cannon right from the start.

1.  Does he bash and trash women?

Observe his attitude towards women in general.  How does he show respect to his mom and sister?  

Someone who puts women or down and demeans them or says about an ex-girlfriend “you won’t believe what this b*tch (or c*nt) did” is less likely to be the type of person to keep your trust.  You wouldn’t want to share a sexual experience with this type in the first place!  If you’re too naïve to think that his views and attitude on women wouldn’t affect your relationship, think again.

2.  Does he tend to exaggerate story details?

Beware of a guy who’s always the life-of-the-party chatty, revealing personal details about everyone he knows.  If he can turn a normal day-at-work rundown into an epic saga fit for the big screen, he’s probably the type of guy who’s capable of narrating your sex secrets as well.  They make just too good a story not to.

Some people feel comfortable sharing intimate details, but if he’s a big talker and you’re not, you could try analogy to help him understand how you feel.  Try saying “How would you feel if I told my friends that __________ (place private and sensitive information about him here)?”  It’s an easy and effective way to get your message through.

3.  Is he inexperienced?

It can be exciting to get racy with an inexperienced man, to go where he’s never gone before and hear him pant, “Wow I never knew it could be like this!” but it can also be risky.  Some older and more experienced men are less likely to dish the details.  For them, steamy sex or unusual positions in bed is not such a big deal 

4.  Does he have insecurities in bed?

Boys and bragging rights begin with “my dad can beat up your dad” and escalate to “my sex life is better than yours” somewhere after puberty.  So take a look at how he relates to other guys.  If he’s the kind of guy who always needs to get the last word in an argument, he may be the kind of guy who’s quick to say, “We did it eight rounds last night!” Confident men are less likely to spill.  A guy who’s secure around his male friends is less likely to use sexual stories to enhance his prestige.

5.  Do his best friends know everything about him?

If he’s a guy who has the same group of friends since grade school, it’s a good sign that he’s loyal, but it can also indicate that he has people in his life he feels comfortable talking to about everything.  

We know that we, girls have been known to give in to the urge to reveal an intimate secret or two to a best girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean we want men to do the same.  Your best preventive move is to tell him how you feel.  But remember, if you’re asking him not to spill the beans, you’ll have to promise him the same.

6.  Was your breakup ugly?

He could be so devoted to you in the past that no one could make him confess about your sexual deviations.  But in the aftermath of a bad breakup, your sex secrets could seem like his best revenge.