Case Study: the Case of an Abusive and Heartbreaker Man

Case Background:

Alvin (not his real name) is a dear friend of Eppy Gochangco.  He has two statements regarding women.  In his first statement, he said that he had come up of three generalizations of women: they are prostitutes, manipulators, and only after the money.  On his second statement, he said that he does not hate women, and if he did, he would not fuck one hundred of them.

His two statements signifies his character and sexuality and very important for this study.  Let’s try to analyze each statement to describe what kind of person he is.

Scientific Study:

Mr. Eppy Gochangco is a sex psychotherapist and counselor in the Philippines.  He has a good explanation on the character of his dear friend Alvin.  First, he define Alvin as a sexist for he makes generalizations of women.

In his practice, many women complained about their male partners.  These women are civilized, cultured, and educated who do not ascribe the behavior of their male partners to their being a man.  Women refer their male partners as individuals.  On the other hand, Alvin’s thinking is not civilized even though he is educated in one of the top universities in the Philippines.  His thoughts are reflective of an abusive man.  An abusive man put down the opposite sex and calls them derogatory remarks.  Abusive men like to put down weaker individual.  They are hostile toward small creatures and children.  When their patience is tried, they will resort to physical abuse.

On the other hand, we see Alvin as a broken man who needs nurturing for his physical and emotional survival because he has total dependency on his mother.  When he was younger, he used to get  what he needs without saying a word.  Now, he is a grown-up and expected people know his needs and wants without saying a word.  In the end, he became frustrated because his needs are not met.  On the other hand, he cannot blame his mother because the society dictates so.  But, he is unconsciously feeling the anger and has to be manifested and directed toward other woman just like her mother.  All of a sudden, the compasionate, sensitive, and thoughtful man transforms into an insensitive, thoughtless, and hurtful.  In the end, he breaks the woman’s heart for he looks for someone else.  But, there is only one woman worth respecting-his mother.

Conclusion:

Through Eppy Gochangco’s explanation on the case of Alvin, I realized that the problem of Alvin has its source.  We cannot judge a heartbreaker or abusive man for being heartless.  Definitely, he has reason why he is doing it for everything has a cause. But, for an abusive and heartbreaker person, he should not be tolerated.  You can get out from the relationship if you needed to.