Does Bubbly Pop Your Cork? Dust or Lust? Sex and The British Male
by Some strange sex related studies seem to be in the offing at the moment. Here are three of the most intriguing ones I’ve found in the national press here in the UK over the last few days.
Stage 3
We’ve now reached the Five Star hotel and signed in under the pseudonym of Mr and Mrs Smith for a night of passion. Despite having dated a seemingly boring British male, the female involved in this part of the mating game is pleasantly surprised as, according to The Daily Telegraph, despite the fact that the British male is supposed to be less sexually inflamed than our fiery Mediterranean mates, this isn’t in fact the case!
The British male has been the butt of many a joke worldwide but researchers from Utrecht University in Holland who measured the sexual performances of 500 men in five different countries (US, UK, Holland, Spain and Turkey) have now proved that the award for top of the flops should be given to the Turkish.
Of the human guinea pigs who performed against the clock, it was found that the British male came in first as the had sex for 10 minutes before peaking. The US came in second with a respectable 8 minutes and the Dutch third, with 6.5 minutes.
By comparison the Spanish came fourth with just 4.9 minutes and the Turkish came last with 4.4 minutes.
Unfortunately one poor man lasted just 6 seconds but another rampant Romeo put in a 52 minute marathon!
Apparently the use of a condom didn’t seem to impair impact and alcohol actually increased sex drive!
The study has been published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine – well, it couldn’t really have been published anywhere else more appropriate could it? But I wonder why they didn’t include France and Italy in their research? Could it be they were afraid both countries, known for their insatiable sexual appetites, could have far outsexed the other five?
… And for those on a tighter budget or just general cheapskates …
The date begins with a trip to a pub where they serve a good plate of winkles or cockles (see picture above) and a 100% beef burger. Wash down with a glass of Asti Spumante. Buy a bar of chocolate and devour whilst waiting for the Number 9 bus to turn up. Take your date back to your bedsit, get her/him to whip round with a feather duster and mop your floor for half an hour while you hurriedly make the bed and then go at it hammer and tongs!!!
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Post CommentTeves
On October 19, 2009 at 6:37 am
Wow very nice one…
Frosty Johnson
On October 19, 2009 at 7:43 am
I buy my girlfriend a packet of cheese and onion and a bag of scratchings then woo her with a bottle of Lambrini, works a treat in Birmingham.
Katien
On October 19, 2009 at 9:21 am
The thought of oysters makes me want to throw up and I hate champagne – I’d be happy with a large bar of chocolate. Entertaining article as usual!
STEVE666
On October 19, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Interesting write. It all sounds a little too expensive.