Male submission was once seen as an obsessive sign of weakness. Now it is recognised as taking a special kind of strength. It has been argued by leading psychologists that it is no more obsessively dysfunctional than any other form of sexuality.
In today’s society, men are finding the courage to throw off stereotypical chains and explore their physical and emotional boundaries.
Thirty years ago, if a man wanted to dress up in his wife’s underclothes, he was judged to be at least unmanly and at best, mentally ill. Today, a more enlightened society recognises his right to escape the confines of a conventional role and voluntarily explore all that he is capable of being, as long as he is sufficiently balanced to ensure he does no lasting harm to himself or others.
After all, macho man is allowed to break his own limbs, risk death and injure playmates in the pursuit of such pastimes as boxing, sailing, climbing, rugby football and recognised “extreme sports”, whilst those in search of bodily or spiritual perfection exercise and deprive themselves, subjecting themselves to all kinds of emotional, mental and physical regimes, not least in media and competitive environments or in the armed forces.
Male submission was once seen as an obsessive sign of weakness. Now it is recognised as taking a special kind of strength. It has been argued by leading psychologists that it is no more obsessively dysfunctional than any other form of sexuality, including the accepted ideal of falling in love in a normal, heterosexual relationship leading to marriage and honeymoon period, where a man is expected to be consumed by thoughts of sexual satisfaction to the point that society recognises his need to remain undisturbed with the object of his fixation.
It is this kind of intensity of intimacy, stimulus, satisfaction and release that a man seeks in submission.
He may be looking for relief from the stresses of a demanding or dangerous job or a stressful social situation. He may be looking for acceptance as a rounded human being with unrepressed emotions and love of sensual stimulus.
He may crave a situation in which he can prove himself, his devotion, his self-discipline and his courage. Or he may be seeking more sophisticated sexual stimulus than that of a “Vanilla” or conventional relationship which has lost its intensity.
He may long to be encouraged, even forced, to do things which fascinate, but repel him, because he has been conditioned to believe they are unacceptable. These acts may range from enforced chastity, to nakedness and humiliation or from wearing beautiful fabrics to indulging in “weaknesses” such as emotional or theatrical expression or simple abdication of all responsibility.
In particular, many men are so confused and insecure about their ability to meet the needs of their female partners that they prefer to be instructed how best to satisfy them, without the responsibility of taking initiatives or performing approaches which may be unwelcome.
But perhaps the greatest need a submissive male has from a Dominant woman is acceptance, of all that he is or could be, of his needs, his fears, his weaknesses and his failures and of his desire to please. This acceptance leads to a mutual trust and reciprocal delight in which, once mutual trust has been established and boundaries negotiated, both partners can confidently expect to be able to ask for and receive the satisfactions they crave. Once the bedroom door is closed, there are no longer any rules beyond the ones they make for themselves.