Five Reasons Why Abstinence is Not the Answer

You said

“Even if you yourself had premarital relations and now realise that you think it was silly that you did. Your child will not be able to make this decision for themselves unless they go through the same steps as you have.”

I don’t think people regret things that are merely “silly” as you say.
the correct word in its place would be stupid

well, i think its a choice to stay absitnent. I think that itsa good answer too. Just think about it; the more you have sex with different people (which is kind of what you’re saying) sex before marrige, the more likely it is that you will contract an std or aids. Also, with your point on with you marry someone and don’t like to have sex with them, well, you marry a person for love. What that got me thinking was, if you love them, it should be beautiful.

My comment wasn’t neutral at all I agree with John

The wrong era, well wouldn’t it be technically the right era, seeing as we have much more procautions know to us at a public level?
And I had no intention to spread the “free love” propaganda, it is merely an opinion that having sex with other idividuals before marriage isn’t wrong.
It’s good to see comments from both sides though.
I don’t think abstonence is the answer, but protevtion is.

Oh, and Joseph, I didnt mean it to sound like I was interpreting your comment as nuetral, I know you meant to agree with JQ, I was merely saying that it works for both sides.

and I still stand by mine

Sorry Keighte, no offense intended I was just pointing out that we have the gift of Self control and that the idea that we “Have to because our bodies want it” shows a lack of self control and an “if it feels good do it” attitude. I am not against sex in it’s proper context, but alot of people confuse lust and love and that is where the problem lies

We are animals. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have self control. I still use a toilet don’t I?

I said you’re in the wrong era not because your idea is old but because we have learned that promiscuity before marriage does have consequences and as far as the schools teaching “safe sex” even with all medicinal advances there are actually statistically more people with STD’s than ever, people do what they want because they always think they’ll be fine, all contraceptives state that they “do not prevent sexually transmitted diseases”
so only a fool would expect contraceptives to keep them “safe”

Abstinence is the answer,not to mention fornicating is immoral, as has already been stated

What really makes something “immoral”, or “wrong”? Society does, if the majority of people believe something is immoral or wrong then it is, but seeing as you guys are the minority, one could even go as far as saying that your views are immoral or wrong, since its just a word placed on something by society.
And as for reading the bible, no not lately, but i have thumbed through pages every once in a while, but personally i don’t like reading material that tells little kids and people that other religions are bad. I don’t feel like following a path that a few old men have written out.
And as for all of you guys if you wouldnt mind (obviously you don’t have to disclose information) but I was just wondering what country you’re from, how old you are, and maybe what religion.
Of course I don’t want anyone to take this the wrong way, just a simple question that was kind of running through my head.

I was Roman Catholic for 5 years, and that was a choice I made, nobody else in my family was a practicing Christian before me. I said the Rosary every night and read the bible quite often. If anyone anywhere can find a quote from Jesus that supports abstinence let me know. I’m not religious these days. But it makes perfect sense, make a religion, only allow men to teach it, and these men all must take a vow of celibacy, listen to others confess and pray to a virgin. I thought Jesus said “Love each other.” Nah, that’s too simple isn’t it?

21/United States,Texas/Christian

Here’s a verse you may have missed,

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
1 Corinthians 6:9

God is for Abstinence

Derek, we are not animals,if people choose to live like they are that is on them, but it is a choice.

i beleive if u have sex in a safe way, its good for you mentally and physically. abstinence is an unessesary problem.

Abstinence is the best answer because it secures u from a lot of trouble.If u practice abstinence u know that u can never get certain diseases like aids. u know that u can never get pregnant and most important u will please God, because u obey His word.For those who don’t do it… when judgement day comes they will have to tell God about their violation of the rules.And that will be nasty.I’m 17 and I will definately practice abstinence till’ I get marry.Because I know that I will stay clean till that time and I know that it will save me from a lot of mental & emotional problems. And I don’t care what people say cause I know that I’m right.I know that abstinence is hard at certain ages cause u can get teased a lot by certain things like tv or music. but if u really want it I know that u can do it.And u can ask God for help & also u can help yourself by preventing certain things like sit on your bed with your boyfriend.

Darcy, do you really believe sex education works, come on really. Take a look around you. In the US alone there are 45 million abortions every year, didn’t those girls have sex education. STD’s are currently rising every year, people are transmitting it t their sexual partners everyday, didn’t thy have sex ed.
You say that “we all strive for diversity”, and that’s a human fact. I assume that you are female, so why don’t you next time bring one of your friends home for your partner to have some diversity, after all we are human.
YES curiosity is naturally human,

When sitting in a plane by the emergency exit, im curious to know what would happen if i pull that lever, im i going to do it?

I see how much celebrities enjoy taking drugs im curious about what they see i it, does this mean im going to try it?

Im curious to know if i can out run Mike Tyson after punching him in the face, am i going to try it, hell no.

Human beings are curious, we also have the power of CHOICE and self control.

So please don’t try and justify sleeping around because of curiosity.
If it’s curiosity that you are defending , them tell your fellow women to stop complaining when their men are sleeping around, after all “we all seek diversity”.

“So if we are to go by experience, should we allow kids to go on and become drunk drivers?
Do you crack someone’s skull open because anger and revenge are natural to humans?
Do i go ahead and tell a kid/teen to try cocaine because he has never tried it and experience is the only way?”

Who in their right mind would want any of that to happen? No one does, but people do these things everyday, and do any of them learn from being told “don’t do that, you’ll get yourself killed,” or “I love you, please stop all of this?” Maybe a few, but the majority don’t. We do however learn from our mistakes/experiences. You make your own decisions, no one can tell you how to live your own life.

Skibon, you’ve talked about allowing kids to become drunk drivers, and telling your others to do drugs because that’s the only way to learn, you seem to think that someone who partakes in such things isn’t to blame here, someone must have told them to do it. Never could they have made that decision to drive home after a few drinks on their own. No one tells their teenager to go out and do drugs, they hope that they don’t in fact.

Simply, experience is the only way to understand that your decisions have consequences, and partaking in different things like drugs and sex can be scary. But there can be a difference here. The more you know about something, the greater the chance that you will make the right decision for yourself. Yes drugs are a bad thing, but if informed maybe people would be less likely to use them. Afterall why do people use them in the first place? Sure, sex can be un-safe, but only if you don’t know the precautions to be taken ALWAYS (even after marriage)when having sex.
This goes for anything though, and simply agreeing with somone elses views on the matter, doesn’t make them your own.
I would like to know how you learned to ride a bike. Did someone tell you how & you just magically went pedalling down the street the first time you tried, or was it not experience that helped here. And say, you don’t like riding a bike, or eating eggplant, is this because someone told you you don’t like them, so it’s a bad idea to eat them, or is it from trying them and deciding on your own? This is what was trying to be said by experience, you only know for yourself, if you have in fact participated.

I know my comment may seem off topic, but I felt that maybe a different context was needed to see another point of view on this matter.

This article is correct. Sex is very prevalent in high school, and yes, there are junior high aged kids out there having sex. Maybe it isn’t right, but if you make kids think they have to keep it secret and don’t give them the tools to make informed decisions, then they are out there blind, with little guidance and knowledge, and they feel like they can’t go to their parents or other adults if they have questions or problems of a sexual nature. Instead of saying, “Don’t have sex, you’ll get pregnant and are exposed to diseases,” put the facts on the table. Do I want my little girl having sex in highschool? Not really. Do I want her to get pregnant in highscool, get chlamydia, or worse because I did not give her the information that could keep her safe? Absolutely not. Sex is fun, sex is intimate, I’ve got nothing against people minding their own business, either. You can tell someone to abstain, and maybe they’ll listen, or you can give someone the facts and then let them make their own decision. The decisions you make yourself rather than those forced on you make much more impact anyway.

Sex is NOT a heathy part of a realationship if people die from it. And maybe people don’t ger married JUSt to have sex. Because if people swore to abstinence and actually ment it than God will give you the right partner and you two will fall in love and not have a relationship that only revolves around sex. Sex is the reason that most relationships may fall apart because the couple has sex so much and so quickly that they don’t even learn about eachother and fall in love with eachother and not with eachothers BODIES.

If we are “pleasing God” by staying abstinent, then what did he mean when he said “Go forth and multiply”?

“I can’t believe that someone thinks to have a good relationship you have to try sex with tham fist. I think it’s despicable, and irresponsible taking a chance having children if you’re not married.” Bear52

“…anyone who is angry with his brother must stand his trial; anyone who contemptuously calls his brother a fool must face the supreme court; and anyone who looks on his brother as a lost soul is himself heading straight for the fire of destruction.” Matthew 5:21-22

“Really? You have to have sex with someone for them to think you love them??? God sent his only son through a VIRGIN!!” cat12

“Whoever does the will of my Heavenly Father is brother and sister and mother to me.” Matthew 12:46-50

Have either of you even read the article?
Have the rest of you even read the bible?

The logic behind the argument for not accepting abstinence is ,..well quite frankly FLAWED.

Dude!!!, Just admit u like sex too much to give it up, instead of trying to “logically” argue against Abstinence or celibacy.

The presence of unwanted pregnancy, mass divorce due to infidelity and STD’s throw your “have all the sex you want, as long as u know what you are doing” argument out the window.

Do people that throw their future away by catching an STD know what they were doing, because of 5/10/15 mins of fun.

Your first line of argument of finding out your partner is incompatible is flawed, WHY, because couples that have “great” sex , still break up everyday, and frankly anyone that enters a relationship or marriage just because of sex ALONE is either VERY IMMATURE or an IDIOT even both and should not be allowed out alone in public, let alone be granted a marriage license.

“wouldn’t you wonder what it would be like to be with another person sexually”

DUDE, that is the biggest cause of infidelity , especially amongst those that “had their fill” before marriage.
It is very easy for them to compare, and once their spouse does not meet up, they stray first chance they get.

And if the WHOLE relationship is based on how much sex they have then it will always be doomed, because someone out there will ALWAYS do it better.

Besides, you can’t compare two types of candy if u have only tasted the one you bought, so u can’ miss what u have not experienced.

Dude with all the Sex Ed that has been taught in the past 30 or so years , an average of 2 million are still aborted every year (over 45 million since Rowe vs Wade). Is your sex ed working? , because they certainly are not abstaining while getting pregnant. How about the new STD’s emerging everyday with all the condoms available in high school, those kids certainly were not abstaining.

“It allows one to look for people who share the same sexual thoughts as they do,”

WHAT!! If all a relationship is based on sex, what happens the rest of the hours, when too tired , or to angry, or “that time of the month”
What if for the next 30 years u can’t find that woman that shares you sexual thoughts? Are you going to keep sleeping around searching? Isn’t a relationship about a lot more than sex. Haven’t many relationships fallen apart once sex got in the way?

Abstinence works if you MAKE it work. It is more than just a verbal decision but a LIFESTYLE decision. And a choice to cut out from your life, the things that counteract and battle against your abstinence choice. There are, guys who can get laid if they whispered the right words, but have chosen abstinence, so the argument that “we can’t get any” is frankly just a playground childish taunt.

Do you really think that the guys that had menage a trois and slept with 50 girls before marriage is going to stay faithful, when his wife has been away for a month and that new girl in the office is giving him the green light. I don’t think so. The habit he cultivated of scratching his itch every time it came would kick in.What you could not control as a single, a ring on the finger is not going to work magic to stop you.

If you equate yourself sexually to an animal that has to satisfy horny every single time it comes , that is sign that you are a sex addict. There is something called SELF CONTROL.

I bet u’d control yourself if u find out the girl u about to score with has a VD .You’d be out of there faster than the flash.

Abstinence is the only 100% proven way to prevent unwanted pregnancy, STD.And a person that was disciplined enough to be abstinent before marriage, has a better chance of remaining faithful, than the one that had tasted far and wide, and thinks there is much better outside his/her marriage.Can you say that condomss and “safe sex” are 100% guaranteed? I think not.

Honestly, Would you want your niece, daughter or sister, to open her thighs to as many men as it takes to find “the one that shares her sexual thoughts”

If your answer to that is “Yes,it’s her choice and experience” well all i can say is God help you both.

PS-And i agree with all what LATI said and I’M AN ABSTINENCE GEEK.
If make up your mind that abstinence can not work, your mind will reinforce and tell you all the reasons that it can’t.

I think the 5 listed reasons behind abstinence being wrong are quite flawed and frankly, they’re all based on stereotyping. Not every virgin in the world is a Christian whose parents imposed their beliefs on them. Someone would be aware prior to marriage that they were A-Sexual, they wouldn’t get the same urges, because let’s not forgot that celibate people aren’t robots, they get the same urges and feelings that you other sexual beings do. So if someone never wanted to make-out with their partner or wasn’t entertained by it, they could easily assume it as a tale-tale sign of bing A-sexual. Just because someone has only had sex with one person in life, it doesn’t mean that they’re automatically more likely to stray. If anything, they’re less likely, because they obviously sustain more self-control.

Now that the actual argument’s out of the way, my personal opinions. I don’t like the word “abstinence” it turns sex into an alluringly forbidden fruit that makes it seem more tempting. Couples shouldn’t focus on what they’re not willing to do and should focus on what they are willing to do. Chaste romance shouldn’t be seen as an exercise in self-denial. It’s really more a focus on what really constitutes true love. For the record, I’m an atheist. I have no reason to save my virginity for marriage, other than it just being something that I can only give away once. My mother hasn’t pushed me into anything, in fact, she’s a hippie that’s admitted to partaking in a great many drug and orgy in the 70s. So clearly, your argument is flawed. I am an example of that.

I rather liked this article, though I also believe that being abstinent is a healthy choice for people whom it fits.

I would also like to mention that the USA has a incentive in place that gives extra funds to schools who promote strict abstinence. Our health class consisted of about three minutes total of sexual education- all about how the only ‘right way’ was the remain abstinent- yet no less than nine teenage girls dropped out of school to take care of the children they had before they reached the eleventh grade.

The point? It doesn’t matter what you teach them, they’re going to do what they want. All that might help is to teach them about using condoms and contraceptives (someone in the comments seems confused- no, contraceptives don’t prevent sexually transmitted diseases! They only prevent pregnancies! Condoms are the ones that prevent both!).

Yes, those can fail, but nothing is foolproof (and just for kicks, remember that one person in the Bible became pregnant without having sex at all, remember?).

hey joseph, shut the f up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate all of you “go abstinent” idiots… I’ve been through it and its nothing but psycho torture on a persons mind but most people are to stupid or too ‘faithful’ to even realize it. virginity is a curse and should be lifted, abstinence is simply stupidity put in use to effect more free spirited and intelligent people with guilt. idiots.