Hard Boiled Egg Blamed for Marriage Split

A woman from Berkshire in England is divorcing her husband due to his sexual desires over a hard boiled egg.

For purposes of on going mitigation between the two warring parties and their solicitors, we will name the estranged wife as “Linda”.

Linda claims her husband, aged 46, was so infatuated with hard boiled eggs that she filed for divorce when he started sleeping with the egg between them.

The woman states that her partner of over 20 years, acquired a taste “bordering on sexual perversion” only five years into their seemingly happy relationship.

“My husband always enjoyed a hard boiled egg for breakfast”, claims the wife. “But eventually he became obsessed with eating hard boiled eggs for lunch and evening meals.”

This would not seem that distressing in which to file for divorce. Millions world-wide stick to the same foods day in and day out. But for Linda, her husband went too far.

Masturbating over an egg

She claims her husband slowly started to gather pictures of hard boiled eggs and save the photographs to his lap top computer. He was alleged to have collected books and various other pieces of literature on boiled eggs and would sit up at night reading them “alone”.

But the last straw came when her husband wanted to introduce the hard boiled egg into sexual role play. At first the wife claims she “laughed such an involvement off” and dismissed the request as a joke. However, Linda was shocked to walk in one evening after a local bingo event with friends to find her husband dressed as a chicken and masturbating in front of an egg.

“I was shocked, hurt and embarrassed”, slams Linda. “I never in a million years expected to find the man of my dreams tossing off over an egg.”

The woman goes on to add that for a few days she remained at her friend’s house. Her husband during this time “had enough time to think about his disgusting actions” according to Linda.

Smiling egg in a bed

However, upon return all appeared to be normal. “He no longer would talk about anything to do with hard boiled eggs. I assumed he had learned a valuable lesson that there was no way I would tolerate sexual acts with hard boiled eggs under our roof.”

But just several weeks into their reconciliation, Linda woke one morning to discover a hard boiled egg sitting innocently between the couple in the marital bed.

“I freaked out”, the wife bemoans. “I really thought his obsession was over but there it was – as clear as day – a hard boiled egg with a painted face smiling up at me as I opened my eyes from a good night sleep.”

After an argument, Linda packed her bags and was off. Still the woman attempted to save their marriage after requesting her husband see a psychiatrist or sexual therapist for his weird behaviour, the final nail in the coffin was returning to discuss their future to find her husband and several male friends rubbing hard boiled eggs across their erect privates.

“That was it. I knew our marriage had finally cracked”, said a sobbing Linda to reporters. “I just had to file for divorce.”

Husband is totally scrambled

A sexual therapist commented on this latest bizarre case. “People introduce many strange acts to their sexual desires, adventures and role play. But it would seem that this woman’s husband was totally scrambled and their relationship fried as a result.”

Linda is seeking damages in a divorce settlement cost that would reimburse her financially the cost of a dozen eggs a day over fifteen years.