How to Seduce a Woman
by The main problem of seducing women in contemporary society lies in the fact that people believe in being themselves. You can see how such effort meets the ultimate failure.
Type 1: The Romantic
A fundmental type – almost 100% reliable method of visiting Pantyville. Desired objects are usually dreamy girls that believe in eternal love and birdwatching. The required steps are usually very easy – you just should not forget to mention the following words: flower, love, romance, suffering, smile, tear, thoughts, dreams, eyes, faithfulness, rose, raindrops.
Useful phrases:
´This morning I looked out of my window and began to cry from joy. I thought that Prague in the morning was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen… until I laid my eyes upon you. When I saw your make-up, decently but resolutely covering the imperfections of your face, as well as your push-up bra, softly sowing sweet lies about your curves, I had to have you.´
´Would you like to spend an evening with me on the hill made of human happiness by the junkyard? We could look at the stars and discuss our loves and griefs… and the neverending optimisim sprouting inside us.´
´I can see from your cleavage that you have a very beautiful… soul.´
Type 2: The Artist
You are an artist. You are interesting. You have to spend every day thinking about the immortality of college essays or the interesting curvature of the water line. It doesn´t matter if you are a photographer, a writer, a painter or just a really weird guy with 60´s sunglasses. You are attracted by only the most original of things – the beauty of a woman, the flower of the orchid or the shabbiness of retirees. Your main weapon is your mysterious interestigness.
Useful phrases:
´You look very pretty, but I could make you prettier. Don´t you want to visit my studio? We could open a bottle of ´79 Dom Perignon and I could paint you/take your picture/make gloves out of your skin.´
´I paint/photograph/write, which proves both my ambition and my talent. I am different from others. Others don´t paint/photograph/write. I do.´
Type 3: Emo
You don´t want to live. The weight of the world lies on your shoulders and it is unbearable. Every day you don´t get to see a photograph of slashed wrists, write a paper about emotional or physical pain or cry yourself to sleep is a wasted rosebud lying in the sludge of your life. You hate everything and everything is long lost. The only good sex is the one that is followed by you crying about the senseless cruelty of orgasm. Others live their pathetic lives, but they don´t know anything! They don´t know what´s it like to stand on the cliff in a rainy night, spastically squeezing a goodbye-letter written on a Converse shoes box, knowing that it is only a step that separates you from the abyss of oblivion.
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Post Commentdawn xoc
On January 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm
My tongue is firmly placed in my cheek whilst giggling. Well done
RagingHamster
On February 7, 2009 at 11:36 am
This is awesome!!!
RelationshipExpert
On January 6, 2010 at 4:19 pm
While your standing especially when leaning, hook your thumbs in your belt just above your pockets and point your fingers down towards your genitals, this also sends out a sexual message as you can imagine.
If you encounter eye contact, hold your gaze longer than her. You need to show your not afraid or self-conscious, you don’t care if she knows your checking her out.