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How to Turn Her On: Biggest Turn-Ons for Women

What turns women on? There is really no mystery, when it comes to turning women on. Become a better partner and you’ll enjoy better sex.

How do you turn her on? As a male, you are likely very interested in the physical end of your relationship and wonder how to improve it.

You may feel it is a straight-forward process but it isn’t. Women are complex creatures and in order for them to be open to intimacy, the need to feel connected to you.

Biggest Turn-Ons for Women

1. Emotional Closeness–The biggest turn-on for a woman is the man she feels emotionally close to. It’s not the shiny car, nor the looks; it’s not how much money you make. Most women need to feel close to you to want to GET close. This means sharing how you feel, instead keeping things to yourself. Most women seek the internal. She wants someone she connects with on all levels, a soul-mate, not someone who shuts her out.

Some men remain silent about what they are thinking or feeling, perhaps because they don’t want to burden their partners, but women are generally social creatures and interaction is important to them. It is easier for a woman to be intimate with someone she feels emotionally close to.

2. Listening–How do you turn her on? Listen to her. If she feels her concerns are important to you, she is more likely to desire an intimate connection. Women don’t usually want to get physical with men who minimize or dismiss their concerns.

3. Spending Time–If you want to get closer to her, spend time with her. If you are regularly glued to the T.V. or the computer and then expect sexual hi-jinks afterwards, this is unrealistic. Show her you care about more than just the physical aspect of dating or being a couple. Most women do not desire intimacy with someone who, they feel, rarely makes them a priority.

4. Respect–Treat her with respect and she’ll be far more willing to get intimate. A man who speaks disrespectfully may find that his partner’s enthusiasm for sex has waned. A woman does not care to be touched by someone who is only nice when he wants physical pleasure.

5. Verbalising–Tell her you care. Some men feel it isn’t necessary to put into words what they feel. They may believe that their feelings should be obvious in the things they do. Women, being the verbal creatures they are, need occasional reassurances that they are important to their men. A big turn-on for a woman is to hear your loving words whispered in her ear.

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  1. Chambo

    On August 29, 2009 at 4:22 am


    I’ll keep these tips in mind. Thanks Athlyn.

    RJ

  2. OhSugar

    On August 29, 2009 at 7:11 am


    Great list of dos and don’ts when it comes to turning on a woman. Nice.

  3. Nikita K

    On August 29, 2009 at 9:46 am


    Very true Athlyn! You couldn’t be any more right!

  4. Athlyn Green

    On August 29, 2009 at 12:48 pm


    It’s interesting that I hear men saying that if they just had a hotter body or more charisma, they would get the hot chicks. While in some cases, this might be true, I know from speaking to most women that they need to feel connected to their partner. If that part of the relationship is solid, intimacy usually isn’t a problem.

  5. Stephen J. Ardent

    On August 29, 2009 at 3:50 pm


    Great article. How I wish that it were entirely true. My experiences as a male have left me with a matured and guarded cynicism regarding what women say they really want.

  6. cebuanaeyez

    On August 29, 2009 at 6:32 pm


    I always wanted a relationship that starts out being bestfriends. Love it.

  7. Athlyn Green

    On August 29, 2009 at 6:46 pm


    Hi Stephen,

    While there are always exceptions to the rule, women are pretty clear that they seek close emotional connections. This is why, increasingly, women are turning to other women because they look for these kinds of relationships.

    Because of gender differences, these are not always easy to achieve with someone of the opposite sex. Men and women tend to be geared differently and this can cause problems.

    Hi Cebuana,
    Yes, it’s hard to sustain a physical relationship if you don’t feel close to the person.

  8. Louie Jerome

    On August 30, 2009 at 12:07 pm


    Yes, I agree, all those things are important but there is something that turns me on much more than any of these.

    CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

  9. Athlyn Green

    On August 30, 2009 at 5:21 pm


    My word, how did I forget the chocolate? I swear there’s a substance in it . . .

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