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Kama Sutra for Lonely Men: Innovative Masturbation Techniques

No sweetheart? Don’t worry. While you find her, amuse yourself with these masturbation techniques.

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The net is full with advices for improving the sex life… of couples. But what about lonely men?

While you keep looking for the love of your life, amuse yourself with this innovative masturbation techniques:

The King Kong Technique: Choose a very ripe banana, chop off the two ends and squeeze to take everything out. Do not break the banana skin. Take it and give yourself some nice lonely pleasure.

The Tight King Kong Technique: Place the emptied banana skin between the two mattresses of your bed. Do it.

The Marlon Brando Techhique: Take some butter (or margarine if your cholesterol level is too high!) and spread it on your hands. Think of Maria Schneider. Give yourself some pleasure.

The Lady Gaga Technique: Take some raw meat. Envelope your erect penis with it. Give yourself some pleasure.

The Waterworld Technique: Unscrew the shower of your bathroom. Choose the right water temperature. Lie down on the bathtube. Let the water fall exactly on your penis.

The Mediterranean Technique: Moisten your hands with olive oil. Give yourself some pleasure. Do this one if you don’t like butter or margarine

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