Keeping Sex Interesting in Marriage

Not “this is lame, I wish I was doing something else” boring, but the initial wave of passion that comes in the beginning (unless you are unbelievably lucky) will eventually fade. And anyone who spouts off Dr. Phil rhetoric about sex not being important is full of… well, rhetoric.

It isn’t hard to keep the fire burning for someone you truly love. You married them, right? So here are a few tips that anyone can use, and it works. I’ve been married for well over a decade, and we’re as happy now as we were then. Here’s how we’ve done it.

Communication, Communication, Communication

If you can’t talk about your most basic (and not so basic) desires, you probably shouldn’t be married. Everyone has a touch (or more) of freak in them. Who else are you going to share it with? If you have an idea for something you want to try, tell your spouse! (For men: Be prepared to answer the question “why?”. Unless you’re an idiot, make sure you preface every answer with how much you love her in some form or another.)

Don’t Be Selfish

Sex is a team effort. To have sex that both enjoy, fining enjoyment is probably a good place to start. Your partner’s pleasure should always be more important to you than your own… if you both approach it from that point of view good things tend to happen.

Variety!

The quickest way for sex to become boring is to let routine creep in. Be creative! If you see “sex with wife: 8:30″ on your calender, you’re doing something wrong.

Experiment

I don’t care how long you’ve been married, you haven’t done it all. You can’t be afraid to try different things together. Weather it’s something as simple as toys or porn, or something a bit more ‘personal’, you need to explore. You never know if you like something…

Lust

Remember that while there is always time for romance, lust has it’s place, as well. Everyone wants to be flat out desired, and nothing makes us feel that way like good old fashioned lust.

Kissing

I’ll argue this to the ends of time… nothing is as passionate as kissing. Remember that.

After

Always take time to enjoy that few moments afterwords. Nothing says I love you like laying in your mate’s arms after.

This isn’t the secret to a good marriage, but it’s one of them. I’m willing to bet that most marriages which involve infidelity did not approach this way. Honesty is the cornerstone of a good marriage, and that includes with intimacy.