Please Do Not Ask Me with How Many Men I Have Been

You look at him fondly but wonder how many lines he marked on his bedroom wall? You look at her sleeping and wonder how many men were staring at her sleeping before? There is nothing wrong with wondering. Smart people were wondering about various topics from the beginning of time: Is there a God? What is the meaning of life? And of course:  how many sexual partners my girlfriend / boyfriend had?

Let me worn you: you do not really want to know the answers to these questions. After all, what would you do if you discover that there is no meaning to life, or what if you realize there is no God, and, worst of all: what if you discover that your mate had partners before you?

Let’s face it: No answer will please you, even if you think so. None of them has a calming or magical element that makes your ego quiet for the rest of your lives together. You do not believe me? Here are three optional answers and their consequences.

The good: one to five.

Good? Not really. Despite the initial relief (cheers, I am one of few), if we think about it some more, we understand that we were not the first, and as for the small number: the smaller the number of partners, the greater the probability that the relationship in question was significant. Yes, yes, significant.

Now this really opens a whole new way to be jealous. How significant was it? Whether he (or she) is still significant in some way, how long the relationship lasted? The questions keep on raising and do not let go. Each question activate your imagination even more and… hop, we are angry.

The bad: a two-or three-digit surprising number.

Our brain classify most of the information we were exposed to during the day as not important. Mathematical formulas, new words and names of people considered as a luxury that has no real need. However, somehow when it comes to the talk about ‘How many sexual partners did you have?’, your brain will classified it as a very important information.

What each one wore? What was said before? What tone and what time were used? This data will flow throughout your brain when your ego cries out, whining, ‘when did he (or she) had time to be with so many partners? or: What does it mean about me? Am I that insignificant? ‘. Hence there is no going back from what being said. The too high number to your taste, and probably higher than yours, will be stuck in your head and  your sadistic mind will not let you forget , even if you bump your head against the wall or go through hypnosis.