Revenge: How Low Could You Go?

1. You’ve caught your lover in bed with your best friend. They insist it was a one-off moment of madness. What do you do next?

a) Banish them both from your life for ever.

b) Shag your best mate’s lover (if they have one. If not, then make a serious play for the person they’ve fancied for ages).

c) Take a deep breath, accept their apologies then let them do all they can to put things right.

2. Your flatmate’s borrowed your new jeans without asking, washed them and shrunk them beyond recognition. Do you:

a) “Accidentally” destroy their favourite item of clothing (even if it does mean you can’t borrow it any more),

b) Tell them how upset and disappointed you are and do everything you can to make them feel really guilty, or

c) Calmly suggest they buy you a new pair?

3. A so-called friend who knows some of the higher-ups at the company you’ve just applied to for a job decides he might as well apply for the same job. He gets the job. You seethe. How do you calm yourself?

a) By telling all your mutual friends what he’s done and throw in a bit of slanderous character assassination while you’re at it?

b) By sending a few poison-key e-mails to his new bosses, letting them in on a few sordid facts about your “mate” that no employer would appreciate knowing (but that almost all employees have on their secret CV).

c) With a Valium or a few drinks.

4. The morning after a one-night stand, the person you slept with tactlessly tells you they only did it for a dare. What do you do?

a) In a blind rage throw their clothes out of the window, then go to work.

b) Laugh and say: “How weird! That’s why I did it too!”

c) Nothing – you should have known.

5. You come up with a fab idea at work – one that’s sure to impress your boss. You confide in a colleague who, at a meeting, presents the idea as her own. Do you:

a) Call a halt to the meeting with a shout of “that was MY idea!”, hopefully showing up your colleague for the creep she is in the process.

b) Say nothing but later corrupt her hard drive with a very nasty virus.

c) Cool off noticeably towards her and vow never to confide in her again.