Sex Sucks, What?

Today I am going to share a letter I received from a client of mine.  She is terribly sick and tired of not enjoying sex. Her background consist of 2 failed marriages and a lifetime of her mother saying “sex is what bad girls do!” UGH!!!!  Below is the letter;

 Dear  Miss Sex Sucks, WHAT?;

I am so very tired of my intimate relationships that are so unsatisfying.  I must first tell you that I grew up with a very catholic family….. the word ”sex” was not even whispered in my home. I feel my mother was so worried about me being too “free spirited” that she completely ruined my sexual life.  I am 45 years old and divorced twice.  I have yet to thoroughly enjoy my experiences with any man, yet I have no problems pleasing myself.  How do I get my mothers voice out of my head and learn to let go? 

Very Sincerely, Frustrated.

My response to Frustrated was as follows;

Dear Frustrated;

     My goodness, you are living the same life as I have.  We apparently have a similar upbringing.  I too was in that same situation, until… I really learned not to care anymore and put me first.  The biggest problem I do find with most women is exactly what you are feeling.  There is a fear within that keeps you from being vulnerable. Drop it!!  I know, easier said than done.  So, here is what to do;

1. Understand what you want to accomplish
2. Be absolutely firm with yourself that we were all given the gift of pleasure.
3. To realize that men really do want you to enjoy yourself is priceless.
4. Finally, getting past that feeling of fear is the beginning of a new you!

I will try not to be out of line with this next statement, however, it works.  Put your morals aside, this does come easier as time goes on.  Either find the one man whom you can trust and feel extremely comfortable with and let him know what you are trying to accomplish.  Actually you will be surprised with the men you know who will totally understand.  If you have no one in your circle of friends who fits this, well, then you must look elsewhere.  Go to the unknown and do not look back.  Leave all your life lessons about the “S” word behind. Venture into the places where you know you can find someone that will catch your interest.  It is not unusual to travel to a new town to do this. You do not even have to let anyone know.  Just, of course, be careful and a choosy. DO, BRING YOUR OWN TOYS.  Whatever works for you.  I have not gotten any bad feedback from any woman that a man has not willingly accepted this. Hey, even choose a different name if that makes you feel more comfortable. Trust your judgement and feel out for a man whom you do not “care what he thinks of you!”  Block everything out from your mind except the thoughts of you wanting the pleasure to be nothing less than mind blowing. Please let me know how this works out for you, Sincerely, Miss Sex Sucks