Sex Talk Part 4: The Difference Between Making Love and Having Sex
An article comparing the two activities.
On the surface, both phrases may refer to the same event and conclude with the same result – an orgasm, but alas, there is a difference between these two forms of sexual activity. This article will address the differences in no particular order.
Making Love
Notice that the word “love” is included in this terminology, therefore putting a spin on the act that promotes a more romantic and passionate experience. This is the time when you create an erotic ambiance, including candlelight, soft music, and perhaps some lingerie, basically setting the mood, looking to prolong the whole experience. When “making love” there is genuine love between both parties which is expressed through passionate kissing, petting, and long, drawn-out foreplay. It’s when two people appreciate what they have before them, taking the time to enjoy every heart-pounding, blood-flowing inch of each other and not rushing into intercourse. It’s the time when savoring every moment is the key. Eventually when all senses have been heightened and arousal is at its peak, then and only then is it time to lie together on the cool sheets of the soft bed, joining as one, slowly and methodically moving together at an equal pace until both have achieved orgasm, and, when all is said and done, the two people snuggle together warming themselves with each other’s body heat, slowly drifting into sleep, content and satisfied.
Having Sex
Well doesn’t that just sound peachy? “Hey honey…let’s have some sex.” Typically, this request can be heard frequently when two people have been married a long…long…long…time. The act itself will usually occur when there is nothing better to do, you’re bored, or when you want to kill a few minutes…like waiting for dinner to heat up in the microwave. It doesn’t matter where you do it…just make sure to time it right. There’s no time for foreplay, because the game starts in twenty minutes. Sometimes there’s more physical activity when you’re done as you and your partner fight over the remote control. Nope, the precursor to having sex is both partners getting naked followed by statements like, “You’re not even hard,” or “Did you take a shower?” Deciding on what position is a crap shoot and generally seems to be the one that’s easiest to get in and out of. Once both parties are ready, it’s a frantic race to see who can get done first. The rhythm is all off, it’s too hard, it’s too fast, and there are usually interruptions involving the need to find the right spot and re-insert. When it’s finally reached its conclusion and hopefully both have achieved orgasm, it’s another race to get dressed, get something to eat, and get the best side of the couch.
Which category does your current situation fall within?
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User Comments
ceegirl
On November 4, 2009 at 3:22 pm
describe very good
Linda Lori
On November 4, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Humorous yet Truel! =) Great write!
sunshine926
On November 4, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Excellent article with good views. I like your thinking on sex. However, for me I think both terms are pretty much the same. Making love is just a fancier way of describing it. Sex and love in my opinion have nothing to do with each other unless you are married.
sexyme
On November 4, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I totally agree with you
During initial sexual lives,
New relationships,
Maybe marriage and closer intimacy
And knowing each other is needed
Then its lovely, ex with lovely, and
You are also in love,
When u r satisfied that is years’ have lapsed
Then the other partner says
No honey not now
My make up will get upset
And Johnny is also coming
You know Johnny
We were first time experimenters
In school you know what,
What all he taught me
Ok hell don’t get annoyed
Have Ur quicky
Before he peeks in
And then wham bam love you ma’am
You damn care who has and who hasn’t had an orgasm
You wipe off
Clean up perhaps dry powder yourself
And expect Johnny
Not to know
That is
Just plain and simple sex
And definitely not love what so ever.
Hope you see the difference
Sexy love and lovely sex
Bo Jack Russo
On November 4, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Starts of slow and ends in a quick rush, that was pretty funny stuff.
Darla Smith
On November 4, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I guess my current situation would fall into the “having sex” category.
ashan1614
On November 4, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I have to agree that there’s a difference. Making love is a whole different experience than having sex. Generally because you have an emotional connection with the other person and (as you stated in the article) are looking to prolong the contact with that person for as long as possible. Having sex is going straight for the goodies – looking only for a physical gratification and release. You can have sex with anybody – making love is reserved for a person you care for and are connect to on a higher level.
Renee Hendricks
On November 4, 2009 at 4:48 pm
This ties in a bit with something I wrote the other day – there is a difference. My guy and I participate in both quite a bit. Though, I don’t agree with the exact description of “having sex” – it doesn’t need to be a fumbling kind of event. It can be fun (and not just simply a “time passer”) but isn’t the same as the soulful and deep emotional connection that is present in love making.
Excellent piece, though. Love your writing!
Fiona Beck
On November 4, 2009 at 5:19 pm
How about the kind of sex that happens when you are not committed? When a woman GIVES sex to RECEIVE love and the man pretends its LOVE when its really only SEX?
Would love to read what you have to say about that!
joanofarc
On November 4, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I pretty much agree with you on Making love but not really true for me on Having Sex. Well, i only do both with my guy. Can;t do it without that emotional attachment.
I love your thoughts about sexuality. Really great!!!
Valerie Curtiss
On November 4, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Like I said, you’re funny… I guess in a long term relationship you can have both, especially WHEN THE KIDS LEAVE HOME!! Then you can go around nekid again, and do it any time of day or night!! Then having sex can once again turn into making love. But then I am an incredible romantic.
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