Being a talent scout for the porn industry is probably the best job I’ve ever had.  Well, at least that’s what I thought initially.  Who wouldn’t love the idea of working 8+ hours a day interviewing sexy women of all ages, critiquing their sexual abilities, their bodies, and their ability to perform?

But finding talent for movies, videos, and magazine layouts isn’t as simple as it may sound.  The only other occupation I can equate this job to is a gynecologist.

On any given day my morning starts out with a cup of coffee and a plethora of potential performers lined up outside my office door, eagerly awaiting their chance to audition.  They all hope they can reap the rewards of fame, fortune, and notoriety within the porn industry.  There are no shortages of applicants.  Body types, ethnic background, and race are non-factors in determining who has talent and could potentially be the next Nina Hartley or Linda Lovelace.

Contrary to what you might think, it’s not all about the body…it’s more about performance and how well you can play to the camera.  The better you make love to the camera, the better your chances of being successful.

So what exactly is my job?

First, you invite the applicant in, introduce yourself, and briefly get acquainted.  You collect the pre-written form that everyone is given to fill out, and briefly discuss what acts they are willing to do in front of the camera.  I ask them what they feel is their specialty, and make sure they are willing to perform in front of the multitude of strangers that will be on a set.  In this business there’s no time to be shy because it all boils down to money and creating a finished product that will sell…period.  My job is to make sure that time and money isn’t wasted by having a performer change their mind once they arrive on the set and have to perform.

Next, I ask the applicant to get undressed for body inspection.  It’s a helluva job but somebody has to do it.  To any women out there looking to get into the biz, please shower before the interview and please address any personal hygiene issues, making sure to wash and shave accordingly.  As much as we enjoy the aroma of your well cared for, well maintained nether region, filling our office with the smell of bad breath and dirty feet is not cool.  Not to mention, other applicants don’t appreciate it much either.  Bottom line…if you stink…you’re out.

Body inspection is not just my opinion.  Like any other inspection, I must follow a set of predetermined guidelines, walking around the applicant, checking off body parts and rating them on a scale of 1 to 5, so I guess you could say it’s left to my judgement.  The job initially left me aroused, but doing it for so long, it is now just one of my tasks.  I cannot let my own personal preferences interfere with what’s marketable, so following the guidelines is an absolute must.

Realizing that not all bodies are perfect (okay…it’s rare) is why your ability to perform is more crucial.  In addition, consumer tastes change so rapidly that producing a product different from the competition gives you a temporary edge.  To any women who have wanted to audition but feel your body is not good enough, I recommend you at least try.  Even if you’re not selected, you may have answered a burning question you’ve had in your mind a while.

After body inspection, the next step is a series of poses the applicant must do to determine their range of motion and flexibility.  Again, I must follow a check list and rate their balance, how far they can spread their legs, and their ability to perform a few basic yoga moves.  I’ll admit that this is one of the more fun tests for me to judge.  Under normal circumstances you’ll never get to see naked women perform these moves, but hey, it’s all part of the job.

Next, it’s the performance test.  Some applicants misinterpret what they need to do, thinking they need to give me oral sex, a handjob, or intercourse.  This is not allowed per company rules.  Naturally there have been some applicants I would have loved to give me a “hands on” performance, but for health, safety, and insurance reasons this practice is strictly forbidden and grounds for termination.

Each applicant is given the opportunity to perform on camera for 10 minutes which is recorded and sent up to management where the executive decisions are made.  I allow the applicants to pick a dildo of their choice (they’re brand new and compliments of the house) fire up the video recorder, and tell them, “Give me all you got.”

Yes, my job once again is to rate their performance.  Everything from their oral ability to masturbating and achieving orgasm.  Again, it’s just one of those jobs that has to be done, and fortunately for me, I get to do it.  If you’re thinking of auditioning, in this case, silence is not golden.  For God’s sake…MAKE SOME NOISE.  I can’t tell you how many women masturbate in front of me and remain silent…it’s unbelievable.  I’m rating your performance…so make it good.

When everything is done and the applicant gets dressed, we tell them the usual, “If we’re interested we’ll contact you,” and thank them for auditioning.  Yes…it is a great job!!!

Now I know some of you out there may be skeptical about a job like this, hell…you might even think it’s unbelievable.  To that I can only respond by saying, “Your right.”  This article was written to show my creative side…GOTCHA!