Sexual Barometer Test

I abhor falsity; first in me then in others. Yet, our entire existence is based upon a false premise. We say on thing and do another. We pretend to be happy when we are obviously unsettled, disheveled and discontent. So much deceptiveness invades every segment of our lives so as to cause a gap large enough in our everyday lives to drive a mac diesel truck through. Bottom line: we are phony! We pretend to know what we are doing but don’t have a clue. We say we do what we love and love what we do and yet we are forever looking over our shoulders or out the corner of our eyes for something better.

We are such utterly dissatisfied mealy mouthed individuals we spend hours polishing our faces, shining our cars, and planting flowers in our yards as a means to prove we are content. In actuality, all those contrived efforts do nothing but accent the emptiness we feel. We are superficial vehicles who work tirelessly to convince ourselves otherwise by engaging in conversations that validate, purport, or secure our sacredly held highly thought of positions? Instead of inventing meaningless shallow activities to fill spaces of restlessness, we need be asking what I am really seeking. What do I honestly need? Who am I, and more importantly, what am I doing on the planet Earth?

Nothing that we do really fulfills us. IF it did, we would not constantly create and fuel the ever increasing chaos which pervades our lives. We would support, hail and administer to others favorably without the hint of jealousy, animosity or envy which rides piggy back on the subtle statements we make when conversing with them. Most especially IF they apparently have been granted more success than we think they should have entertained for the amount of effort put forth. In other words, we constantly judge, measure, criticize, condemn and comment on every achievement received in the other person’s life (who we are involved with) without relent.

What is so ironic is the morose fact that we say we care about these people. Ha! Care how? When we continue to bad mouth, belittle, gossip and bemoan the successes attained by them IF we have not seen the same measure in our own lives. Why? Because we are not living the life we truly want to aspire and commit our talents. We are hiding behind the mask of superiority, morality or an arbitrarily sanctioned ‘goodness.’ It makes us sick to the bones but we continue to maintain the ‘status’ quo/numbed relationship. We have an image to uphold, remember? But, for one minute IF we could but let go, lighten up, release that pre-supposed (do or die) ‘label’ of who we think we are and who we are trying to convince others we are for the real passionate life of sexual vitality and creative fun we so crave, our lives would suddenly transform into magical scenes of transcendent bliss!