Sexual Partners: Should You Reveal The Skeletons in Your Closet?

‘Honey, how many men did you sleep with before we met?’

‘Twenty-three, er…er… I think twenty four or twenty-five.

Now, that is an answer that would shock your partner in most cases. You dumped the first one for being too short, you dumped the second one for lacking table manners, the third one did not impress your parents, the fourth one was in love with the bottle, the fifth one had a case of bad breath, the sixth one probably would snore so much in bed that the neighbors came calling, the seventh urinated in bed, the eighth abused you, the ninth was married and the tenth…the list is endless but the current one is a combination of all those that you slept with and dumped!

The number of men looking for sex as a sign of commitment is astronomically high and the number of young women who equate sex to love is just as high but both sexes expect to be blessed with a partner who never had any sexual partner or had very few.

Skeletons of snakes and other reptiles in a museum

To be realistic however, many people kiss a lot of frogs before the prince charming comes along. The problem is often the fact that every frog that comes along looks and acts so much like prince charming, the frog knows what you expect, he or she knows what prince charming looks like and would therefore fit the bill without much trouble until later when the relationship is steady.

Would you tell your partner the truth? Should you tell your partner the truth? Must you tell your partner the truth? If they knew the number of partners you have had in the past, how would they take it? They would be angry to say the least and would shoot away in the opposite direction but in real sense they too have skeletons of their own.

In societies where there are arranged marriages in which boys and girls grow up knowing there is a suitor somewhere some place just for them, the number of sexual partners before marriage may be limited to none, one or two at most. But in the more liberal societies, this is not possible as boys and girls start believing in love the moment they start watching Television – Around age five. Between that age and when they reach puberty, they already have build fantasies around what to expect and the idea of the perfect man or woman for them and this tempts them to start testing the waters earlier than it was in the past. At sixteen a girl will already have one skeleton, two at seventeen, four at eighteen and thirty at twenty nine.

The irony of the matter has always been that the more the unions, the shorter they last and the shorter the unions, the more we encounter. What then should you expect from your partner? Anything but the truth.

No sane woman or man would give the answer that I gave at the beginning and no man or woman expects it anyway and shouldn’t be asking in the first place. Perhaps it would be better to be content with who you are with and let bygones be bygones for when you start digging skeletons from the past, their mere sight might not impress you and in fact, might give you a heart attack, or wouldn’t it?

Virgin or not, it would help in these days to go for an HIV test and let your honesty stop at any children from past relationships. If you have any congenital malformation or disorder or some terminal illness or chronic condition, do not hide this hoping that it never comes to light, chances are that it will, and when it does, love will have evaporated and…….need I say more?