You are here: Home » Sexuality » Ten Signs That Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

Ten Signs That Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex

Here are ten humorous signs that your wife is not in the mood to have sex.

It’s eleven o’clock and you and your wife are going to bed.  You want to have sex, but your wife is not in the mood.  Here are ten signs that your wife does not want to have sex tonight:

1.  Your wife erects a five foot cement barrier between the two of you in the bed.

Cover via Amazon

2.  Your wife wears steel armor as she goes into bed. She then says, “Good Knight.”

3.  Your wife doesn’t brush her teeth so that she can keep her onions and garlic breath intact.

4.  Your wife posts a sign next to your side of the bed that says, “Do not disturb.”

5.  Your wife blows snot into a Kleenex and then gives it to you to throw away.

6.  Your wife starts singing, “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” and then sticks her tongue out at you. As you try to make an advance, she sticks a sewing needle up your rear just to make her intentions clear.

7.  Your wife says not tonight in seven different languages. She also curses in seven different languages to make her point.

8.  Your wife has curlers in her hair and is wearing a face mask.  She also has a hockey stick by her side of the bed. She warns you that if you try to have sex with her, she will send you to the penalty box.

9.  Your wife spreads potato chips on your side of the bed.  She warns you that if you move, she’ll hear the sounds of the potato chips and start flinging hamburger buns at your face.

10. Your wife gives you a tender kiss. She gives you a warm hug. She then speaks through a blow horn saying that is all. While your ears are trying to recover, she puts on a Justin Bieber CD and starts reading from her Kindle. You might as well go in the other room and watch a movie. Your chances of having sex tonight are nil.

2
Liked it
User Comments
  1. webseowriters

    On December 25, 2010 at 7:29 pm


    Interesting

  2. lowellhenderson

    On December 25, 2010 at 8:43 pm


    Ah…how true.

  3. Mr Arrogant

    On December 26, 2010 at 1:27 am


    wow
    That was really a list…
    great,,!!!
    it did give me guts haha

    how did u get inspired to write such an article?
    lol
    wow
    great one

  4. MightyDreamer

    On December 26, 2010 at 5:35 am


    That’s rough

  5. humor

    On December 26, 2010 at 9:59 am


    hahah cool…very useful :P

  6. BruceW

    On December 26, 2010 at 3:37 pm


    At least those are more inventive than kneeing you in the groin!

  7. PSingh1990

    On December 26, 2010 at 10:32 pm


    Nice Share.

    :-)

  8. aleah

    On December 26, 2010 at 11:38 pm


    LOL. Has any of these actually happened to you? ;)

Post Comment
Powered by Powered by Triond
-->