The Demisexual

*Note- I wasgoing to make this another part to my “Living Asexual” series, but I didn’t because this isn’t me living asexual.  This is me staring at asexuals and demisexuals in the same room and counting myself as neither, for now, to base several views and opinions from someone that isn’t asexual at all.*

Overview

Okay, you should know by now that an asexual is someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction.  They don’t want sex, the idea of it may even be a bit repulsive.

So what is “demisexual”?  I’ll tell you, in a sense: a demisexual is someone who thought they were asexual and then met the “right person”.

Back up: remember how I said people ought to wait until they find the One before they just starting screwing everybody for fun?  (If not, then you have previous articles to read.)  Well, for me sex is something that is at the bottom of my list of Things I’d Like to Experience Before I Die.  I mean, it’s hardly even on the list: it kind of fades in and out because I wrote it down in pencil.  And I wouldn’t just want to do it just to say that I did.  It needs to be special and with someone that I know isn’t just “some other person”.

So “demisexual”?  Yes.  You see, you could take just about any asexual out there, maybe even half of the entire asexual community.  Grab one and put them with their soul mate, who may or may not be asexual as well.  If they are, then it’s perfect, I suppose, but if not, then minds are about to be opened.  The non-ace partner must be able to accept this ace lover for who they are.  Nothing must be forced, nothing must be “discussed”.  Just leave it alone for now and enjoy this beautiful relationship.

Now into the mind of the asexual: Suppose this relationship is THE relationship.  The other person is The One, both are forever happy, regardless of sex.  See?

The Sex Part

Now the sex part: the asexual is still iffy on the subject of sex, but now they can see that maybe maybe maybe it isn’t as bad as they thought it would be.  So now they are only a bit disgusted because they just lost their virginity.  That’s the only thing, so it’s natural to feel that way.  And NOW you’re asking why the asexual would have a sudden change of opinion about sex.  Well, that’s because they’re not asexual at all; they’re demisexual and have been all along.  To elaborate, a demisexual hates the idea of sex in general… except with the one person they could fall in love with but don’t even know it yet (really really strong emotional connection).  Like the asexuals, they don’t experience sexual attraction.  The difference is they would only engage in sexual activity with this one person and this one person only.  A thought-they-were-asexual would have to become very close to someone else before realizing this fact, realizing that all along they were actually demisexual.