The Untold Dangers of Virginity

If you are looking for a medical report, this ain’t it. However it is a story about some people I knew way back when and the consequences of their semi-virgin state. And it’s OK we can talk about them. It was a long time ago and I am sure they have all moved on in one-way or another. I guess I’ll change the names to protect the semi-innocent as always, but I will make up names constant with their character for your benefit. For me, I just need to write about something lighter right now and that I find amusing in my own warped way. 

Meet one Thelma Louise and Wilbur Anderson. Recently thrown into a melding pot much larger than the small town of their origin. (Sounds like the Twilight Zone, doesn’t it?) Add in a guy by the name of Carl and you have the makings of a triangle with what might have been a predictable outcome but for my meddling. Although the role I played was peripheral, the final results may have been better or worse if I had minded my own business. You can decide that for yourself at the end of the story depending on your own point of view.

Our innocent couple had moved into an Army Town when Wilbur got himself drafted. They came from a very small rural farming area out in the Great Planes somewhere whose exact location is of no importance to this story. As far as I was ever able to determine neither one of them had ever really dated anyone else before their marriage. This seemed to be more a limitation of other eligible candidates rather than love at first sight.

The Players

Now Thelma Lou was exceptionally pretty with all the trimmings in place. In fact if she weren’t married I’d have been out bailing hay with her in a shot. Except for one regretful incident, never to be repeated, married women are off limits. Anyway, bottom line she was a looker. Now Wilbur on the other hand was not particularly handsome. A little bit baby-faced with a Pillsbury Doe Boy middle. At the end of the day, these two did not go together like ham and eggs. As a couple they looked more like ice cream and pickle juice. They lived off post in one of those three room apartments especially made for enlisted families (I personally preferred the barracks).

And then there was Carl. I won’t go into a description of him here since I already introduced him a while back in “Carl and the Hells Angels”. It is enough to say that Carl was more Thelma’s type, or at least she thought so. And as will often happen in Army Towns, everyone was one big happy family; Couples and singles coming and going through Wilbur and Thelma Lou’s little apartment. This of course, is a sure formula for disaster.