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Top Fifteen Alternate Names for The Penis

Proving that men have to be creative(perhaps a bit too much so), here is a list of the top fifteen alternate names men have given their Penises. Or is it Peni?

That male productive organ between our legs as a scientific name of the penis. That is the scientific name but naturally people have felt the need to get quite creative. Therefore, there are many interesting alternative names for the male penis. Some of them are quite mundane all things considered. Some of them…well quite frankly, are a bit twisted. Some people have too much time on their hands. Here are fifteen alternate names for the penises. Or is it Peni. Well whatever the plural form of Penis is, here you go.

15) Beaver Cleaver

Alright, alright, we’re already off to a slightly disheartening start to the list. Beaver Cleaver is the child star of the 1950s television show, Leave it to Beaver. And Beaver Cleaver is a good name for the penis. People are interesting and the names they come up with for the penis are more interesting.

14) Magic Stick

Or alternative wand. A fun activity that many people can do is go through the Harry Potter books and mentally replace the word “wand” with the word “wang”. You’ll do of oxygen deprivation to the brain because you’d be laughing so hard. So yeah, magic stick.

13) The Bushwhacker.

I think this one writes itself. No joke I can have would be fit for replacing penis with Bushwhacker.

12) Johnson.

Relatively speaking, this term is tamer and more mundane. However considering Johnson tends to be a fairly common last name, it does lead to some snickers. Really you can play the same game with guys named Richard(or Dick if you prefer). A simple name perverted by the human mind, of coming up with interesting new names for the penis.

11) Seaman Wang.

Ahoy mateys, Seaman Wang is going to plunge into the wet depths and plunder the virgin waters, while looking for some sweet booty And yes, I apologize for making that horrible joke. Still seriously, Seaman Wang? Actually this one is rather rare, but there is a little absurdity.

10) Jack in the Box

You’ll never look at that particular children’s toy in the same way. Actually this does come off as a creepy come on for a certain wretched part of the population. Still Jack in the Box is another term for penises. Or is it Peni.

9) Baloney Pony.

I had many jokes for this one, but they were all worse than the Seaman Wang joke. Therefore, I’ll just let the term Baloney Pony sink in.

8) Pickle.

Another term for the male reproductive organ is a pickle. You know I never really liked pickles. And there is a good reason why I never liked pickles. Seriously, do you ask a girl if she likes her pickle Kosher or Dill?

7) Trouser Snake.

With some guys though its more like a trouser worm, but that’s another matter entirely. And if some men don’t keep a close watch on their trouser snake, it could get defanged.

6) Joystick.

A common tool for video game players. Also a common name for penises. Or is it Peni. Well whatever the case for me, you’ll never look at a Joystick the same way again. And its kind of phallic. Yeah, let’s move on. Maybe Freud was right.

5) Tallywacker.

This is more of a British term for the penis. And let’s face it, its just a funny word all together. Then again, a lot of British words are funny to our charming corrupted American form of English. Proving that the Brits still have a few tricks up their sleeve in clever witty puns.

4) Ding A Ling(or Ding Ding alternatively)

There is just something interesting about the term Ding A Ling, that just warms the cockles of my heart. I don’t know what it is. I do know that Ding A Ling or Ding Ding, have been known to be use to describe penises. Or is it Peni.

3) LIL’ JIMMY~!

If you don’t know why this made the list, then you obviously haven’t been reading my WWE RAW Reports. Lil’ Jimmy is another slang term for a penis.

2) All Purpose Hot Beef Injector.

For the absurdly long name, this one is a win.

1) Captain Winkie.

This seems for some reason one of the most unmanly names for an organ used by men ever. Then again maybe that’s just me. Granted, I’m sure there are some that are far absurd, but this one just smacked me in the face.

So I hoped you enjoyed my list of fifteen alternative names for Penises. Or is it Peni?

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