Who Says I Love You First

It is a fact that most people believe that women are always first to utter the words I love you in the course of relationships, but in fact it is the other way round, and the strange thing is that, where sex is concerned, those interested in flings like to say those words after the act, whilst more committed lovers prefer to say it beforehand.

In lots of relationships, the single moment that decides whether or not the relationship has any future comes at point where one or the other of the parties involved comes out with those three otherwise insignificant words, in a simple sentence loaded with mysterious and romantic meanings.

A new study, recently commissioned, now hints that both evolution and science and evolution can help offer explanations about who, in reality is more likely to declare love first, and how hearing those words affects the recipient, some results being anything but stereotypical.

Researchers needed, they felt, to invoke in test subjects times when the sexual might lead to pregnancy, days in which women tend to be much more cautious and more sceptical of love declarations from male partners. Despite the modern age of birth control, the findings show that, even for singles navigating today’s dating scene, this attitude persists

For some time now, social psychologists have about the male tendency to express love first, in most relationships, and in surveys of 45 people walking by, the survey found 65% of people believed women to be first to say I love you first, whilst 85% were sure that women developed serious feelings first, as a rule.

Two further studies, of people ranging from mid-20s to 60s, showed that men are first to declare love 70% of time, whilst three more surveys conducted – on reaction to hearing those words – threw up some interesting responses, not least of which was men generally were happier to hear the three little words than women were if the couple had not yet had sex.,

Post-sex, women are particularly prone to feeling happiness boosted, tending to support the theory of their tending to prioritize relationships when getting pregnant is a possibility. Those men more interested in committed relationships tended to be happier hearing the words after sex rather than before it.

Men referring short-term flings, on the other hand, are happiest on being told pre-sex that the women they intend to sleep with loves them, all the results suggesting that it might well be evolutionary impulses which drive people to flirt and date a lot, even when internal emotions seem genuine, just playing the mating game by doing what feels right, whether conscious of doing so or not.

The question is not really one of who will be the first to utter those three very powerful little words, but how sincerely they are meant, and how the person hearing them reacts to what they hear. Saying something so emotive should never be done lightly, so think carefully before saying something to get into someone’s bed that you might later bitterly regret.