Woman, Sexuality, and Satisfaction

Recently a woman ran off on her husband and children to have an affair with a boy 15 years younger than her. For some reason, this event has fascinated me.  Perhaps it is because of who the woman is. She is not famous, she is not rich, and she is not even a “trailer trash” woman of questionable morals. This woman is a pastor’s daughter, with spiritual conviction. This woman was one of the most devoted mothers I had ever met. This woman had a great husband and several beautiful, healthy children. Yet she abandoned it all for a fling that has little chance of lasting even six months.  Everyone who knows her is left with the question “what would drive a woman to do such a thing?”  If you are a man, your guess might be that she was bored in the bedroom.  But I am not so sure.

            Sex is not valuable to woman in the same way it is to men. Don’t get me wrong, woman can and do really enjoy sex.  Yet for a woman, sex is as much mental as it is physical.  While woman may have one night stands and quick flings, it is not so much about getting off as it is getting affirmation (but the orgasm and stress relief are an added benefit).

 For woman to have really great sex, many things must come into play. First, the woman needs to feel attractive and sexy. This is accomplished in many ways, partly through exterior primping and pruning, physical health, and inner self-esteem. Unfortunately, women have a tremendous amount of pressure placed on them to look a certain way, to be a certain size, and to behave in three specific roles at any given time: respectable woman, nurturer, and whore.  Because women have such external burdens on them, a certain amount of affirmation is  needed to maintain a healthy sense of self worth.  One theory, put simply, would be that the adulterous woman was not feeling appreciated by her spouse.

While I have no insight into the intimate personal life of this specific woman, I do have a few facts at my disposal. One is that this woman was very beautiful; the second thing I know is that her husband adored her.  So if we eliminate the possibility that her husband just wasn’t appreciating her, and even assume that their sex life was at least adequate, what else should we look at? This leads me to another question.