Metamessages: Meaning Behind The Words
Many conversational conflicts could be avoided if we are aware of what is really in our subconscious level.
Why can’t some people just say what they mean and mean what they say? Many times we could hardly believe what we hear our friends, even family, or people of authority, say. Many conversational conflicts could be avoided if we are aware of what is really in our subconscious level. A study in speech communication exposed the hidden meanings behind the words we hear is called metatalk.
When a manager says, “I have always been telling the employees to finish this job on time,” the hidden meaning or metatalk is, “Don’t blame me.”
When someone says, “He is very intelligent, I enjoy talking to him,” the hidden meaning is “I am intelligent.”
When a board chairman says, “I am not suggesting anything here,” the hidden meaning is, “I am telling you, this is what I want.”
When the boss says, “I think we all agree,” the hidden meaning is, “This is what me must decide on.”
When a father says, I am not blaming anybody,” the hidden meaning is, “You are responsible for this.”
When the corporate chief says, “Let me sleep on it,” the hidden meaning is, “Don’t bother me with this. It’s not important.”
When the charming girl you are wooing says, “Of course I am fond of you, but give me time to think,” she means, “I want to look around some more.”
A good deal of conflict in our communication is due to our failure to recognize the hidden meanings in our conversations. For our communication process to be fruitful and cordial, we must be aware of the hidden meanings in what others and we ourselves say.
A key to better understanding, therefore, is to be keenly sensitive in our interaction. By analyzing what others say and by being aware of the hidden meanings from what we hear, we can develop a better and harmonious relationship with other through our communication.
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User Comments
Sourav
On November 7, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Well written… interesting!
sunshine926
On November 7, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Very true. Great article. I really enjoyed it. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. By Joseph Murphy PHD is something interesting for many people to consider reading.
Peter Cimino
On November 7, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Great write. This is so true!
Papa Sparks
On November 7, 2009 at 4:41 pm
It’s always what is sometimes insinuated between the lines. Enjoyed reading this article a lot.
Frances Lawrence
On November 7, 2009 at 6:02 pm
I enjoyed reading your article, you are quite right. I have to say what I mean because I have a son with Asperger Syndrome and he takes everything literally.
Snooky
On November 7, 2009 at 6:36 pm
You are so absolutely correct. if you have an affinity with words you can talk about a person like a dog or give them the highest accolaids and watch them stand there smiling, because they don’t have a clue as to what you ae saying
chitragopi
On November 7, 2009 at 11:09 pm
It is amusing how the subconscious conveys a totally different meaning sometimes. Good article.
Guy Hogan
On November 8, 2009 at 1:15 am
I think we all say a lot of things just to get along. I think there might be more conflict if we all said what we really mean.
Teves
On November 8, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Good stuff…
Mystify
On November 8, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Very fasianting article Athena and very true!!There hidden messages behind everything it sems and you wrote about the reality of this perfectly!
Jane Jane
On November 9, 2009 at 8:48 am
when I say “this is interesting,” I mean you’ve got good stuffs here.
SharifaMcFarlane
On November 10, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Some people like to insult people using that. They think it`s cute.
Then there are people who are insulted when you are direct and say what you mean.
Netty net
On November 13, 2009 at 10:09 am
Wow I think got stop and think about it. some times we don’t want to talk about certain subjects so shrub our shoulders.
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