Quiet Communication

You can focus on the relationship that you’re with, which is something you probably should have been doing anyway. Or you can walk around with your head in the sand. But there is a serious problem with either if you are around that other person more often than not, and that is the nonverbal communication that can ensue. Regardless of what you don’t honestly want to happen, your body is going to send nonverbal clues that can be read by anyone perceptible enough to pay attention to what is going on, or the girl herself.

It’s like for every action there is a reaction. What is sad is that people play this game for years, knowingly, yet never do anything about it. Even worse is when the naive do it subconsciously. If you have other obligations perhaps it will go away or disappear into the night. Yet what if it never quite does; is bring what lurks underneath the surface into the light really worth the consequences that can follow?

Probably not if it all goes away when that person is not there. Better yet if those feelings or ideas go away when they still are around. It brings to question a way to redefine what infidelity really is. You never acted on the ideas, or at least you hadn’t consciously made any attempts to move in that direction. Yet the ideas are still there, and worse yet this other person is interacting with those ideas, even if they are unaware of the reciprocation. Are they even at odds, or are you just making all of this up in your mind?

Are you better off not even working there anymore? Should you take a different class that is offered at a different time of the day, ride a different bus or wait for the next train, or walk a different way home? I mean how crazy can all of this really get?

The debate will continue to rage on for years to come. But one thing is certain, below the perceptible threshold we openly communicate to each other a lot of what we probably shouldn’t have without any fear of repercussion, consequence or even concern about the next persons feelings. In a lot of ways it is us at our most selfish and irresponsible. Often times it is the balance between our disciplined diligence to censor our inner critic, and what we actually do say or feel outwardly, that truly constitutes the integrity of our relationships. Perhaps we’re worse off for it, perhaps we wouldn’t know how to live any other way …

What’s a girl to do in this type of situation? Is it right to be friends or just leave well enough alone. Or, if it’s clear that the man truly is free and available, step it up a notch and make things interesting or just see what happens. Or perhaps you’re the one sending out the signals; do you really want the guy to respond or is this something you would really prefer not to deal with whatsoever. It would be interesting to know the ratio between how many guys send out those signals and how many actually act on them as opposed to how many you sent out and if and when you actually did anything about it yourself. Are the roles ever reversed, and it’s the woman finding herself in that position you would expect to find the guy in? Do girls find their own personal interests at odds with what society says are the right men to go for and do they find themselves digressing and talking to those men they normally wouldn’t just because they have a chance to do so?