When is it that you find yourself having the greatest time of your life? Is it when you’re helping people? As great as that would be, most people would be lying if they said that was true. In fact, as a general observation, no one truly, deep down, is greatly overjoyed by helping others. Is it when you’re earning things? Again, this would be nice if it were true, and although there are more people who could say this honestly then the previous topic, it is still not true for many. So what is it that truly fills us with happiness, gives us that special feeling that we know: this is the time of our life? Self-indulgence, this is what those times are made of. It is a gross understatement to say we, on a whole, are wrapped up in ourselves. In fact, most people in the world including those who can say that they are happy helping others are all consumed with themselves. You and I are no different in that respect.

We see the world in a special way, something I call mono-vision, looking out for number one. We are so consumed in ourselves we actually laugh at other’s pain, not because it’s funny but because it didn’t happen to us! The thing is though, this selfishness also composes the best times of our life, so the sooner we come to terms with this own dark part of ourselves, the sooner we can listen to the symphony of time. Back to my original premise; the time of your life is a single event, sometimes simple, sometimes extravagant, but always changing in some way. The time of your life is rooted in selfishness and though I will not tell you how to live your life I will point out where we all are the same. There are three questions you need to ask yourself and answer truthfully before you know you’re really at terms with this disposition, which is key if you are to enjoy life.

1. Have you ever caused harm to someone else (even if it wasn’t apparent at the time) to better your situation, even if “the ends justified the means”?
2. Have you ever lied to someone under the guise of sparing them, when you just don’t want to take the time to deal with those feelings you’re “sparing”?
3. Have you ever laughed at the situation of others, even though it was unfavorable, without even considering for once that you could easily be in that same position?

If you answered no to any of those you’re lying. I know it and you know it. Even at the age of 10 I had accomplished all of these without any effort. It’s not something you consciously do, most of the time, it’s just something that comes natural to people. We decide that others can be sacrificed as long as we are preserved without thinking for a second what we would like in that same situation. It’s only once we’ve come to terms with our selfish nature that we can truly enjoy our situation. Some call this revelation salvation, in which they pronounce their faith to a god and repent for their sins or wrongdoings (which in almost every religion are just selfish actions in their purest forms), some call it transcendentation, in which they “transcend” to a new plane of living where they’re “free” from this nature. Whatever you call it, and however you paint it, it all comes down to the fact that you feel lighter when you give up the facade and it shows. Life comes at you fast, and if you are unable to deal with it, because you can’t accept simple truths, how can you enjoy it? This is what I ask you; when the time comes, are you ready to handle it?

If you can’t then what is the point of waiting for it? Many people wait their entire lives for this one moment, amassing funds, going on vacations, doing things they think will spark the inevitable. Unfortunately for those blind to their own actions, death is the time of their life, when they are finally released from the troubles of the world. Those of us who’ve opened their eyes, however, will find that their time has passed. Think back to the worst time in your life, and imagine things without operating under that facade we all act/acted in. Even the worst time can seem better, because we know that if we were aware of our nature and better equipped to handle it, the situation could have been changed or altogether avoided. Which brings me to my next point. How can we deal with our own nature?

Our nature cannot be defeated or changed, this is the only fact we need to know for this whole process to work. Even after coping with all your tendencies, they’re still there, enduring the ravages of time, and waiting for their chance. As an old preacher friend of mine used to say, “I still know every word that I learned when I was a kid, and some of them aren’t exactly friendly. And even I get the urge to use them sometimes.” The problem is, most of us don’t have that filter that man had. We don’t know, or don’t care how to stop our tendencies from emerging in society. If we learn just a couple of steps we can do better, feel better, and be better.

1. Don’t do things without thinking. (Although this one should be a no brainer, we do all sorts of things without thinking on a regular basis. When we get up, we get coffee, when we go to sleep we let our mind wander, when we go to the store…. The point is if you think before you act you stop a lot of selfish things from happening and causing harm to others)
2. Walk “the Mile” (Which is of course referring to the infamous mile in the other’s shoes that we always heard of as a child and never quite cared enough to do. Well think of it this way, if you walk the mile before you act against someone, they will notice, and probably do the same to you when they’re getting ready to strike)
3. Don’t spit in the wind (Metaphorically and physically. Don’t do something that will have adverse consequences for you or the person behind you. Realize that everything you do has a consequence and process the first two steps. When you come to a crossroads just think, “What will happen to this person AND me?” This even enables your selfish side to see reason towards showing compassion)

As stated before, you cannot defeat or change your nature. It’s given to you at birth, developed throughout your life, and taken at death. It is a simple and unchanging factor throughout all your decisions. However, you can alter how much you pay attention to it. The greatest minds in history all “thought outside the box”. Well human nature is to think within the box because outside is where nobody else is. They didn’t always listen to that nature and because of this simple fact they are acclaimed as brilliant minds. Well if you are able to curb your desire to listen to your selfish nature, then that makes you a saint. Now don’t let the motivational tidbit distract you, we are flawed, every one of us, and even though none of us are identical, we all share the same dark desires. Yet, one thing we all find different within is our proficiency with dealing with them. The time of your life is waiting, can you get a hold of yourself before it comes? I hope you can, and wish you the best of luck in doing so.