The Diamond Rule and Personal Boundaries

In the business world, there is something called “The Platinum Rule.” Unlike the Golden Rule, which states “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, the Platinum Rule says the following: “Do unto others as they want done unto them.” What this means is that when a client comes to a business in order to get its needs met, the business must take into consideration first and foremost the needs of the person. This makes the person feel valued. But it doesn’t stop at clients – the rule also gets applied to those who work under and above an employee in a corporation. That can be a daunting task. Business models for success aside, the Diamond Rule, like the Golden Rule, operates more on a personal level. What this rule says is: “Teach others to treat you the way you want to be treated.” It doesn’t sound that foreign when one realizes that is exactly what the job of having boundaries does: it teaches others how you want to be treated.

Assuming your boundaries are strong, ones that cannot be compromised for any reason, calling it the Diamond Rule makes sense. There is nothing worse than having no boundaries, or weak boundaries, that can cause all sorts of grief to an individual. Having weak boundaries, when  breached, can actually cause physical stress on the body and illness, such as fibromyalgia. But when the Diamond Rule is followed, one can teach others how one wants to be treated. Since the Golden Rule does not always work in favor of how one wants to be treated – indeed, there are some people who do not wish to be treated the way you want to be treated – it is important to realize that not everyone’s needs is the same as yours. Establishing your boundaries and communicating them in the form of the Diamond Rule will help prevent abuse of you, the “doormat syndrome”, and a host of other problems associated with the failure to enforce boundaries.