A Day in my Life
by Why are people so rude?
Why are people not courteous anymore? Did their parents not teach them having manners is actually a good thing? I never realized just how insensitive and discourteous people were until I had my daughter. She is three now. She is also handicapped and unable to walk, talk, or even hold her own head up. So, I need a wheelchair to transport her in.
About a year ago I was in Target. I had picked up some clothes and went to the dressing room. The teenage attendant counts the clothes and tells me I cant bring my stroller in the dressing room. I explained to her my child was handicapped and that the stroller was actually a pediatric wheelchair. She said I would have to leave it outside the dressing room. Of course, I can not try on clothes and hold a two year old handicapped child in my arms Her reply was to leave my child with her and she would watch her. I felt my blood boiling. What made her suitable to watch anyone’s kid, but especially my handicapped child. What would she do if my child chocked, had a seizure, someone knocked her wheelchair over, etc….? What would stop her from walking off to attend a customer and leaving my child alone to be kidnapped or harmed? I was livid and speaking to the manager only made it worse. He reiterated what the attendant told me and gave me a 1-800 number to call. Of course, the 1-800 number led to some guy telling me it would never happen again and Target was a handicapped friendly store. He didn’t even say he was sorry for my trouble, wasted trip, or anything.
Instead of going back to Target I decide to go to Old Navy and purchase the outfits I wanted. I pick out what I want and head to the dressing room. There is only one handicapped stall and it is occupied. So, I wait and wait. I am patient for twenty minutes because I can only imagine how difficult it is for a handicapped person to try on clothes. Then, I see two kids run out of the handicapped dressing room and a mother stick her head out to yell directions on where to find another size at. All three of them were perfectly capable of going in a regular stall. Yet, they were given the only handicapped stall. Sure it may have been a little uncomfortable for her to take two kids in a regular stall, but she could and I cant. The attendants explanation was that the stall was for moms too. I said well if it is for moms then it is not a handicapped stall, now is it? I argued a moment and requested the manager. The manager simply told me to wait my turn. When I got home I called Old Navy and I must say… they apologized and sent me a ten dollar gift card. They told me that Old Navy’s policy was to allow mothers to use the stall only if a handicapped person doesn’t need it and if a handicapped person needs it…they are to move whoever is in the stall to another stall. This rule seems stupid to me, but at least they are trying, right?
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Post Commentanna donovan
On June 12, 2008 at 8:13 am
Wow, I would like to punch out all of them for you. I do not have a handicapped child but I remember what it was like when I had too young children. I do not even want to get started on people that are not handicapped, using that designated parking – let’s jus say it pisses me off to no end. You are a saint. Some people might say…Well – leave your child at home with someone – and why should you, she deserves to interact with people. Hopefully the good kind.
jo oliver
On June 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm
anna- Thank you for the comment. Yeah, it really makes me mad when people tell me to leave her at home….like she isnt human. She enjoys seeing things and getting out just like any other kid. Thanks again.
chloe oliver
On June 12, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I once worked in long-term care at an Alzheimer’s unit.WHile taking residents on outings, I too encountered the rudeness, stupidty,and apathy toward those who are physically challenged.
Outings for your daughter or anyone else with a physical disability should not be considered a privledge-rather a right. Yet, all too often, those with such disabilities are discriminated against or their lives are placed in jeopardy because of people who disregard the rights of the disabled. When the disabled or their advocate complain, they are sometimes called troublemakers.Sadly, these folks may have to learn hard lessons in the future. There but for the grace of God go I.
M. Stokes
On September 12, 2008 at 12:18 am
Very well written, and it should give many people something to think about. If I were you, I believe I would send Old Navy and Target an email with a link to this article.
And I just finished reading another article of yours.. I have never heard the word “Gaydar” until now. lol
Keep up the good writing, I look forward to your next articles!
Phill Senters
On March 30, 2009 at 6:35 am
I agree, can’t abide ignorant, inconsiderate a**h**les.
TRACY PHILLIPS
On April 3, 2009 at 8:36 pm
I MYSELF HAVE A HANDICAPPED DAUGHTER.I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH.I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR HER AND PEOPLE LIKE HER.THANK YOU!!!!!!
skylite
On April 25, 2009 at 9:15 am
I can’t imagine how hard it would be to raise a child with a handicap. I respect all that you have to go through each day with the ignorance of others. It is horrible the way you and your daughter were treated. Why some people can’t even try to put themselves in a situation to try to help someone when one day they could be the one’s looking for a little extra help. Being rude will get them no where !
Chris Stonecipher
On September 25, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Jo,
I know how you feel. When my oldest daughter who is now 18 and has severe autism had to go to the restroom in public places, most of the time we could not find a unisex/family/handicapped restroom. She can\’t dress herself without help. I would have to take her in the men\’s room. When I would take her out to eat at McDonald\’s I would see people stare at her or just ignore her all together. Now Jessica will say hi to people and people still will ignore her or talk to her like she is a toddler. I will tell these people that it is rude and not respectful to talk to people with disabilities like that even if you don\’t think they can understand you. Bless you Jo. I feel your frustrations.