Adolescents, Their Parents and Society

a.      the point of view of the parents
b.      the point of view of the adolescents

A.     The Parent’s Point of View

1. As children come into adolescence, the parents continue to have pride in their development. But the child who use to be completely dependent upon them now shows signs of a desire to be independent. The parents might still have some feeling that it would be more pleasant to have the old ways continue. The result could be conflict.
2. The parents might feel hurt, when the adolescent wants to be left alone in his decision-making.
3. During adolescence, children begin to be interested in members of the opposite sex. Parents sometimes find it difficult to let them choose their friends. The parents feel that with their greater experience, they are better equipped to know which friends are desirable and which are not.
4. At this stage, too, children begin to ask for the advice of other adults, teachers, neighbours, friends etc. This means that the children are becoming aware of the fact that values other than those held by their parents exist in the world. This can make some parents very uncomfortable.
5. some parents often interfere with the adolescents’ lives because they hope that their children should fare better than they did themselves. They do not want their children to make the type of mistakes they themselves made.
6. as the adolescents move out from the parental home to interact with the outside world, and as they become better equipped to take care of themselves, the father comes to the realization that he is losing his authority over the child. The mother is also losing her job of child care. The parents’ need to be worthy care-takers of their children, is therefore, being frustrated by the adolescents who want to be independent.

B.     The Adolescent’s Point of View

1. The adolescent questions the parents’ authority as he strives for independence. He does not want the parents’ control. He feels he is an adult and can therefore manage his own affairs.
2. Sometimes adolescents react to parental pressure by apparently enjoying direct disobedience to their parents. The pleasure is, however, usually followed by great feeling of remorse.
3. Some adolescents will attempt to make their parents seem stricter than they are. Adolescents generally appear to have resentment for their parents. They may however, behave better outside the home. This can be explained by the fact that adolescents tend to behave well when little or no pressure is exerted on them by parents.

The relationship between adolescents and parents should be marked with friendliness. Parents need to be more understanding, patient, and calm. They should give guidance tactfully.

There should be effective communication between parents and their adolescent children, so that problems can be easily identified, discussed and solved.

Parents should encourage adolescents to bring their friends home. In this way they will know the type of friends  their children are keeping. Constant scolding and nagging by parents should be prevented. The home should provide the adolescent with love and security so that he does not leave the home for bad company.